badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

FAKE Ficlet: Lab Specimen Or Not?

Title: Lab Specimen Or Not?
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Jim.
Rating: PG
Setting: Sometime during the manga.
Summary: Dee ventures down to Jim’s forensics lab and sees something less than appealing.
Word Count: 522
Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Jim + Any, Is that a specimen or lunch,’ at fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Dee had gone down to Jim’s lab in the hopes of chasing up some test results. He knew Jim had a lot on his plate, dealing with evidence from several different cases simultaneously, but sometimes going down to the basement in person yielded faster results than phoning down, especially if you took a bribe. Jim was a health nut though, so it was no good showing up with candy bars, cookies, or doughnuts. Couldn’t go wrong with a bag of nuts, right? Nuts for a nut. Seemed appropriate.

The lab was empty when Dee got there, but Jim couldn’t have gone far and would probably be back soon so Dee made himself at home, which mostly meant snooping without touching anything. He knew better than to risk contaminating evidence. An open plastic container sitting on Jim’s desk piqued Dee’s natural curiosity and he peered inside, pulling a disgusted face. He was still trying to work out what it was supposed to be when Jim returned, bottle of water in hand.

“Hey,” he greeted genially.

“Hey yourself.” Dee didn’t look away from the container. “Dude, what is this? I mean, I can’t tell if it’s some sorta specimen you’re analysing, or maybe your lunch.” He finally glanced towards his friend.

“It’s tofu rice salad with pine nuts, pumpkin seeds, and sweetcorn; my own recipe.”

“Yeuch! Don’t ever invite me over to dinner, ‘kay?”

Jim snorted and rolled his eyes. “As if! You don’t consider anything that doesn’t involve meat or carbs as food; your arteries are probably already clogged, and you should think about quittin’ smoking. In case you haven’t heard, it’s bad for you.”

“Thanks for the lecture; for your information, I already quit.”

“Since when?”

“Since two weeks ago. See?” Dee shoved his sleeve up to reveal a nicotine patch.

“Good for you; it’s about time, less chance you’ll drop dead unexpectedly.”

“Way to be supportive, dude,” Dee grumbled. “Quittin’ is Hell.”

“So, what brings you all the way down to the depths of the sub-basement?” Jim asked.

“Just wonderin’ if you had anything for me yet on the blue powder from the Dawson homicide.”

“Hmmm, maybe. What’s in it for me?” Jim eyed the bag in Dee’s hand. “Are those cashews?”

“They’re organic and everything.” Dee dangled the bag temptingly.

“Gimme!” Jim held out his hand and Dee tossed him the nuts. Tearing the bag open, Jim sprinkled them liberally over the top of his lunch.

“You’re not seriously gonna eat that, are ya?” Dee asked in a pained voice.

“Yup! You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“I don’t wanna know. The powder?”

“Oh, right. It’s eyeshadow, a shade called Misty Morning, so unless your vic was into makeup, you might be looking for a woman.”


“Anytime.” Jim held out his lunch. “Sure you don’t want to try some?”

“No way!” Dee backed off hurriedly, hands raised to ward off the horror being brandished in his direction. “I’m outta here. Catch you later!” He was out the door almost before he finished speaking.

Jim laughed, picked up a spoon, and dug into his lunch. Mmm, not bad at all.

The End

Tags: dee laytner, fake, fake fic, fic: g, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, fic_promptly, ficlet, jim campbell

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