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Ianto Little Smile

February 2018



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The Oncoming Coat

Double Drabble: Access Denied

Title: Access Denied
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, the PM.
Rating: G
Written For: Challenge 486: Confidential at tw100.
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: The new Prime Minister wants to know about Torchwood. Fat chance.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: This one’s a double drabble.

The new Prime Minister was proving a bit of a handful; how she’d got her hands on Torchwood’s phone number Jack didn’t know, but he wished she hadn’t.

“You’re Captain Harkness? Head of the Torchwood Institute?”

“What’s left of it,” Jack agreed.

“As I’m sure you know, I am the duly elected Prime Minister, and as such, I’m required to know about everything having to do with national security. Therefore, I insist you fill me in on your organisation.”

“You can insist all you like, but I’m not authorised to tell you anything. Torchwood is confidential, and quite frankly, your security clearance is nowhere near high enough.”

“But I’m the Prime Minister!”

“Be that as it may, I think you’ll find we answer to, and are funded by, the Queen, and she outranks you by a fair bit. Don’t you agree? If I told you what you want to know, I’d be committing treason. I signed the Official Secrets Act.”

“Of all the… This isn’t over. You’ll be hearing from me again, and you will tell me everything or I’ll have you replaced!”

“Don’t hold your breath. Have a nice day.” Jack hung up. Wait ‘til Lizzie heard about this…

The End


Hee, awesome. As if anyone could replace Jack Harkness!

Edited at 2018-02-07 07:15 pm (UTC)
The PM is clearly taking out of her arse!

Thank you!
This was fun. It would be interesting to see the repercussions if she was silly enough to press her case, which, of course, she is.
Thank you! I'll have to see about that if I can fit it in at some point!

Torchwood already has their name engraved on their vehicles. Isn't that enough?:)

There's a difference between knowing Torchwood exists and knowing what they do.

Thank you!

Jack shouldn't bother negotiating and use retcon.

The fact that Torchwood doesn't have an alias is another issue I brought up.

I do like how your fics make me wonder about these things.:)
It's because I wonder about these things, lol!

Jack doesn't need to negotiate or use retcon on the PM - of she tries to push matters, he'll give the queen a call. That should fix things.

They probably should have an alias though.

I'm glad you do.:)

They did the alias thing on Supergirl.

It was all: Torchwood, we are mysterious!*jazz hands*
In a way I kind of loved that about Torchwood. The least secret Secret Organisation ever!

Hiding in plain sight.:)
Just not hiding terribly well ;)

Torchwood's alias could have been an Uber service or something like that.
There are lots of things they could have been I guess.

I know it's not the same thing, but they did have the tourist office cover... ;)

Well, any organisation that required them to look posh, aka leather jackets and sunglasses.:)

I forgot about that. I remember Gwen joking about Torchwood having an underground layer when speaking to that nurse in series 3.
Well, they do, and it's a very nice lair too!

It was mostly Gwen who did the leather, which was seriously impractical, she looked like a dominatrix half the time. Jack looked good in shades ;)

Just like spies.:)

If it wasn't the leather, it was the guns.*remembers promo shots*

They should wear shades if it is sunny. I do that myself, minus the slow-mo walking.
My glasses darken in sunlight.

Yes, those promo shots were stupid (although I liked the Ianto and Ianto/Jack ones) because most of them had nothing to do with the show. I didn't see them use those big guns once during Children of Earth. It was very misleading, and so was everything RTD had to say before the show aired. He lied to us, which shouldn't have surprised anyone.

Like a cats eyes.

The bazooka should have been in the promo, minus Gwen.=D

I like that pose that Jack does with the gun, pointing it upwards.:)

I can't imagine what RTD would say if he tried telling the truth about a script.*frowns*
He can't defend his script choices, so he lies.

The gun is far more interesting.
It was stupid.

I wish the use of the gun was more than just to look like a "badass".

Edited at 2018-02-16 11:59 am (UTC)
Yes, especially as it didn't exist in the series.

Good point.
If you're producing promo pictures for a TV show, they should at least bear SOME resemblance to the content of what they're supposed to be promoting. Some of them (the ones without Gwen) might have been pretty, but they were misleading, since the product they were advertising didn't exist.
Great drabble
Thank you!

Jack isn't one for playing politics, but he's lacking in that tact department as well.

Jack reserves tact for those who deserve it, and the PM doesn't make the list. Not even close. She's not exactly being polite and tactful herself, so why should he put himself out?

Thank you!