Characters: Xander, frat boys.
Spoilers: Reptile Boy.
Summary: Xander wonders how he got into this mess when all he’d wanted was to keep an eye on Buffy.
Word Count: 543
Written For: suzume’s prompt ‘Any, any, “An idiot dances?”,’ at fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BTVS, or the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon.
A/N: Some dialogue borrowed from the episode.
Sneaking into the frat party to keep an eye on Buffy had seemed like a great idea at the time. Xander had figured there’d be enough people there that nobody would notice one more, but… Okay, so maybe the whole Godzilla shtick with those finger foods had been a bad idea; he’d meant to blend in, not draw attention to himself, but his inner dork had surfaced. He shouldn’t have played the clown trying to impress those girls. That was the thing about hindsight; you only realised you shouldn’t have done something after you’d already done it, by which time it was already way too late. It was SO not helpful. As he was dragged away by a bunch of drunken frat boys gleefully chanting “New pledge! New pledge!” he’d thought the evening could hardly get any worse.
It figured he’d be proved wrong about that too.
The lipstick was bad enough, the skirt added insult to injury, but the bra was downright humiliating, and now they expected him to dance? They had to be kidding! On the other hand, there were more of them than there were of him, and they were older, not to mention drunk. There was no knowing what they’d do if he refused, so he… danced, if you could call it that. Jeepers! Even Jesse had been a better dancer, before he got vamped! Xander gritted his teeth, cursed his lack of rhythm and lame dance moves, hoped to God Buffy and Cordelia didn’t spot him, and did the best he could to the accompaniment of drunken jeers and catcalls. The blonde wig they jammed on his head just served to prove that even when he thought he’d hit rock bottom, things could still get worse.
‘What kind of idiot lets himself get into a situation like this? The Xander kind, natch. You’d think I’d learn, but noooo, not me. Might as well accept it; I’m doomed to be the butt of everybody else’s jokes forever.’ The evening had gone downhill so fast he kept expecting to wake up and find it was just another nightmare, like going to class in his underwear, only worse.
Xander had lost track of time long ago, doing his best to zone out while still dancing, so it came as a surprise when he was suddenly propelled towards the door and shoved outside.
One of the frat boys threw a bundle of clothes at him. “Party’s over, jerkwater.”
As Xander stood there, feeling as stupid as he no doubt looked, the door was slammed in his face. Thank God! The humiliating ordeal was over at last.
Tearing off the wig and throwing it to the ground, quickly followed by the oversized bra, he started to dress in his own clothes again. Cordy was right; he was a loser. He’d come here to watch out for Buffy and hadn’t even seen her. Way to be a hero. He’d learned one very important lesson though; if by some miracle he ever got into college, no way was he ever pledging for a fraternity. He didn’t have much pride left, but what little there was he was gonna hold on to if it killed him; there was only so much humiliation a guy could take.