Characters: Jack, Ianto, Alien.
Written For: Challenge 488: Swear at tw100.
Summary: The latest alien to fall through the Rift is giving Ianto serious problems.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: This one’s a double drabble.
Ianto stared at the thing, muttering imprecations under his breath.
“Swearing at it isn’t going to do any good,” Jack said helpfully. “It probably doesn’t understand English, or any earth language come to that.”
“I don’t see you doing anything to help!” Ianto shoved the thing as hard as he could, using both hands, but it didn’t shift so much as a millimetre, just sat there contentedly chewing the cud. At least, he hoped that was what it was doing, and that it wasn’t grinding its teeth together to sharpen them.
“I already tried shoving it, but it didn’t work for me either. I think we’ll just have to wait until it decides to move of its own accord.”
“And what if it stays put all night? You don’t think someone might notice it?”
The creature wasn’t what anyone would call inconspicuous, being the size of a hippo, with a small, pig-like head, a bloated, wrinkled body, and six short, stumpy, apparently retractable legs. It was also bright orange. Ianto thought it looked exactly like a pumpkin would, if pumpkins were animals.
“What d’you want me to do?” Jack asked helplessly.
“I don’t care! Just get it off my foot!”