badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

FAKE Ficlet: Locked Away

Title: Locked Away
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Ryo locked part of himself away for a long time, but he’s finally free.
Written For: The tw100 prompt ‘Prison’.
Word Count: 519
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

It isn’t just bars that make a prison, and you don’t necessarily have to commit a crime to find yourself in one; that’s a lesson Ryo has only recently learned, having finally come to realise that he’s spent his entire adult life in a prison of his own making. He locked part of himself away, refusing to acknowledge its existence, and the worst part is that he’s not even entirely sure why.

Nobody, or at any rate no one he remembers, ever tried to instil in him the idea that being attracted to men was wrong, or sinful, or something to be ashamed of. His parents weren’t homophobic or anything, nor were his aunt and uncle, and yet he still locked his desires away where he didn’t have to deal with them, dating girls and trying to be just like all his friends.

Was that the reason? Was it simply that he didn’t know anyone who was gay and didn’t want to be the odd one out? Just wanted to fit in and not be considered ‘different’ in any way? He’s not sure, but that could well have been part of it, perhaps combined with things he’d read in the newspaper or seen on TV about hate crimes committed against gay men. After all, who would want to subject themselves to the risk of that kind of discrimination and abuse if they didn’t have to?

But hadn’t he been guilty of intolerance and discrimination against himself? At the very least he’d been guilty of repression, of not allowing himself to be who he was, who he is. He kept his sexuality imprisoned where it couldn’t bother anyone, himself included, until Dee came along with the key, unlocked his self-imposed prison and freed him.

And it is exactly like he’s been freed, released from heavy shackles that had weighed him down for so long. It’s a heady feeling, this newfound freedom to be who he is in all respects. So heady that he’s not exactly sure what to do with so much freedom. Well, he’s sure Dee will help him to figure it all out. He’s a very willing teacher, despite Ryo being a bit hesitant in a lot of things.

There’s so much to adjust to, but it’s early days yet; he and Dee have only been a couple for a few weeks. Ryo has yet to come out to friends and family, although most of his friends are the people he works with and they probably already suspect he’s not nearly as straight as he claimed to be. He’s not worried about them knowing he’s gay, because none of them have a problem with Dee’s or JJ’s sexuality. He’s a little more unsure about how his aunt and uncle might react, but… well, there’s no rush, he’ll break the news to them when he’s ready, he just needs a bit of time to settle into his new way of life, get comfortable with being a gay man.

Besides, right now he just wants to have Dee all to himself, and he’s pretty sure Dee won’t mind that at all.

The End

Tags: dee laytner, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg-13, ficlet, ryo maclean

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