Characters: Ianto, Jack, OCs.
Written For: Challenge 536: Stupid at tw100.
Summary: Aliens are trying to invade earth again, but they’re not doing too well.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
It often surprised Ianto just how stupid supposedly advanced alien races could be. Take this bunch, for example; there was no doubt they were technologically superior to humans, after all they’d achieved interstellar space flight, which humanity was still at least a hundred years away from mastering. Their spacecraft was impressive too, sleek and deadly.
It was also half submerged in the sea, and rapidly sinking into the wet sand.
The would-be invasion force stood in a cluster higher up the beach where the sand was dry, flipping through a small book that appeared to be some kind of dictionary or phrasebook, Galactic Standard to, according to the cover, Earthish. As they fumbled for whatever it was they wanted to say, Ianto chose not to mention that he and Jack were fluent in Galactic Standard. Let these idiots work for it.
“Voulez vous assist we peeps, merci?” The leader finally asked, in a bizarre mix of French, and something approaching English.
Ianto turned to Jack. “And they think they can just come here and invade our planet when they don’t even know the language?”
Jack shrugged. “Obviously they have a superiority complex.”
“They’d be better off with decent translation technology.”