Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Setting: Vol. 7, Act 19.
Summary: Their first night together is just beginning, and while Ryo isn’t completely free of doubts and uncertainties, he’s not sorry he’s taking the plunge.
Word Count: 536
Written For: My own prompt ‘Any, Any, I'm not sorry I'm gonna do this...’ at fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
‘I’ve been putting Dee off for months, years even, stringing him along with no more than the occasional kiss,’ Ryo thought to himself as he pulled his partner down on the bed with him. ‘It’s a miracle he’s waited so long, I’m lucky he didn’t give up on me. I just hope he’ll think I was worth the wait. No more waiting now though, not for either of us. I’m ready now, or I think I am. As ready as I’ll ever be.’’
“Are you sure about this?”
‘Bless Dee for asking. He could’ve just jumped me, but he wants to be certain. He doesn’t want me to have any regrets afterwards. He’s a good man and I’m not sure I deserve all his patience and kindness, never mind his love, but he has nothing to worry about. I’m not fighting who I am any longer. Life’s too short and I’ve already wasted far too much time on denial, but I’m through with that now. I’m gay, and I love this man, just as he loves me. Really that’s all that matters. Why should I worry about anyone else’s opinion?’
“Yes, Dee. One hundred percent sure.”
‘Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, maybe it’s more ninety-seven or ninety-eight percent… I mean, I’m still nervous, I’ve never been with a man before and I’m not really sure what to expect, but I could wait the rest of my life to feel completely confident. Is anyone ever completely ready for their first time? I don’t know if it will hurt. I hope not, at least not too much. I’m sure Dee will be careful because he knows I’ve never done this before and… Mmmm, I love when he kisses me like this. He makes me feel like I’m melting.’
Long, sensuous kisses, nips, licks and caresses, the taste of his partner on his tongue, redolent of tobacco and beer, Dee’s fingers moving confidently over his body, igniting sparks of pleasure that race along Ryo’s nerves like wildfire. Ryo’s breath catches in his throat and he arches his body against the mattress, almost as if he’s trying to merge their bodies into one entity. He feels like he’s being swept away on an unstoppable tide, and he clings to Dee to keep from drowning in sensation, but he’s not afraid, not this time.
‘I’m not sorry I’m going to do this. It might change everything between us, but surely for the better. For so long I tried to pretend I didn’t want this, didn’t want Dee, but I always knew I was lying to myself. The time for lies is past, I do want this, I want to feel everything Dee’s making me feel, and God, he feels so good. He’s moaning my name, and I think I’m moaning his… I want him so badly, even if I don’t know quite what it is I want. It doesn’t matter, because Dee knows and I trust him to give me what I need. There’s no turning back now. I can’t get enough of him! This… this is how it’s meant to be, the two of us together, united in passion. Part of me hopes this night will never end.’