badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Ficlet: Looks Can Deceive

Title: Looks Can Deceive
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Andy, Jack.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Andy soon learns you can’t judge an alien by how it looks.
Word Count: 500
Content Notes: None necessary.
Written For: Prompt 79: Blob at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.

Rift alerts were so random you never knew what you’d get; earth antique, alien tech, living creature, weapon of mass destruction, someone’s rubbish bin, every lost sock in the universe… Jack claimed that was half the fun, but the rest of the team, including the new recruits, weren’t so sure.

“Andy, with me!” Jack shouted, grabbing his coat. The newbies were getting dragged out in rotation so Jack could evaluate their performance in the field. Personally, Andy preferred going on retrievals with Ianto, or Tosh, or even Gwen or Owen. Jack made him nervous; he drove like a maniac and had such a cavalier attitude towards danger that Andy was sure one of these days he’d get them both killed. But Jack was his boss so he meekly trailed after him to the garage, steeling his nerves for the journey. To his surprise, Jack tossed him the SUV’s keys.

“You’re driving.”


“Yep! There might come a time when you’re the only one in any condition to drive so I want to see how you handle the old girl.”

It was almost a relief; at least he wouldn’t have to endure another white-knuckle ride, even if it was nerve-racking in a different way having Jack scrutinise his driving skills.

When they arrived at the coordinates of the Rift spike, Andy got another surprise; the only thing out of the ordinary visible on the patch of wasteland was a small, inoffensive yellowish blob sitting quietly among some weeds. Jack took one look at it and turned pale, backing away. “Oh no! Why did it have to be one of those?”

“What is it?”

“A Gunoooosh.” Jack shuddered.

“A Gnu?”

“No, not Gnu, Gunoooosh!”

“Bless you.”

Jack threw him a glare and Andy winced; clearly this was no time to be clever. Honestly though, what was so terrible about a little yellow blob?

He studied the Gunoooosh. “Doesn’t look so bad.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Jack told him. “Anyway, what it looks like isn’t the problem. It might be sleeping; maybe if we’re very slow and careful we can avoid disturbing it and get it contained before anything bad happens. Just drop a containment unit over it and slide the lid underneath.”

“That doesn’t sound difficult.”

“You don’t know these things like I do,” Jack said grimly. “I’d shoot it, but they’re bullet-proof; only way to kill them is with salt.”

“I thought Torchwood didn’t go around killing aliens.”

“There are exceptions to every rule. Trust me, pretty soon you’re gonna want this thing dead as much as I do.”

“If you say so.” There was a lot Andy still didn’t know so he was willing to take Jack’s word.

Twenty minutes later, Andy finally understood; he’d almost lost two fingers in the blob’s frenzied attack, and could scarcely breathe for the stench. Despite their size, Gunoooosh were savage predators, disabling their prey with a stink worse than a thousand skunks.

“I vote we kill it,” he gasped.

“Knew you’d say that.”

The End

Tags: andy davidson, anythingdrabble, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, ficlet, jack harkness, torchwood fic

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