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Ianto Little Smile

November 2019



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Ficlet: Rotten Job

Title: Rotten Job
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Coat.
Rating: G
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Rainy summer weather is making life harder than ever for Torchwood.
Word Count: 500
Content Notes: None necessary.
Written For: Prompt 103: Rot at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.

Even for Wales, that greenest of green lands, it was proving to be a wetter than usual summer. Ianto squelched his way back across the field where the Rift’s latest gifts had made landfall, hair plastered to his head, rainwater dripping down the back of his neck. Jack, carrying the other end of the heavy containment unit, didn’t look any better; despite the brisk wind, Coat hung limply about him, its sodden folds too heavy to flounce and flair as it normally would following a successful retrieval.

It had been a cheerless task, braving the pouring rain, unprotected by umbrellas partly because of the gusting wind that would probably have turned them inside out, but mostly because neither of them had a hand available to hold one. The Rift, in Ianto’s opinion, was being entirely perverse, having scattered dozens of hard-skinned, warty objects, ranging in size from egg to cantaloupe melon, across the length and breadth of the muddy field. Jack said they were gubrons, a type of alien fruit like a sweet onion. Ianto didn’t think that sounded particularly appealing.

“Let’s just get them back to the Hub so we can dry out,” he said as they hefted the containment box into the SUV’s boot. “I swear I’m starting to rot from the damp.”

‘You’re not the only one,’ thought Coat, water pouring in steady streams from its hem.

“You’re Welsh; I thought you were used to rain,” Jack teased.

“I’m also used to umbrellas,” Ianto replied, shutting the boot and going around to the driver’s side with a roll of black trash bags to protect the leather seats with. “Here.” He tore off several bags and tossed the roll across to Jack. “Put your Coat in one and cover your seat.”

“Why do I have to cover my seat if I’m taking my Coat off?”

Ianto rolled his eyes. “Your trouser legs are soaked and your hair’s dripping. You ruin the upholstery and you’ll be in big trouble.” Covering the driver’s seat, Ianto whipped his own coat off, shoved it in a bag, dumped it unceremoniously on the floor in the back, and jumped in the SUV, slamming the door behind him and starting the engine. Jack followed suit, but set his Coat, carefully folded into its bag, on the floor at his feet.

“Damn Owen for using all the towels this morning and not telling me,” Ianto was muttering as he wiped his face and mopped at the front of his hair with his handkerchief, trying to keep water from running into his eyes.

Jack turned the heater up high. “Relax; we’ll be mostly dry by the time we reach the Hub.”

Halfway back to Cardiff, Ianto sniffed the air. “What is that vile smell?”

Sniffing too, Jack twisted in his seat. “Oh no!”


“The gubrons! They must be rotting from the damp and heat!”

“Wonderful,” Ianto groaned. “When we get back to the Hub, you can deal with them.” Surely today couldn’t get any worse.

The End


Oh poor Coat. Ianto will make sure it's well treated and looked after.Maybe stop off at a supermarket on the way back, and buy some new towels. Don't know how Jack will deal with the gubrons. Maybe the incinerator.What a day
They're not stopping anywhere with that stink in the SUV. There are more towels back at the Hub, Owen just used all the ones in the SUV when he went out earlier.

Coat will be dried and made comfy.

I think the incinerator is the best place for rotting alien fruit.

Thank you!
Ah, Ianto never tempt fate with thoughts or comments along the lines of "Surely today couldn’t get any worse." That is inevitably when something even worse, bigger, nastier, stronger, stranger and more evil pops up. It's like watching a movie where the hero says to the big bad: "Is that the best you've got?" And WHAM!

LOL! Poor Ianto, Jack and the Coat. Thanks for this.
True, I think Ianto just sealed his fate, lol!

Ianto, Jack, and Coat will all get dry and comfy before they have to go out again. Ianto needs to break out the air freshener for the SUV.

Thank you.

(Love your cute Ianto icon!)
Umm actually that's not Ianto but Loki Odinson. *G*

Loki Odinson Cute figure
Oh yes, I can see now, he has long hair!

Did look a lot like Ianto in the small icon with those bright blue eyes though.
Somehow I doubt Ianto would be all that concerned if he was mistaken for Loki. They're both BAMF and vulnerable in their own ways....

Maybe they're related ;)
Oooh, now wouldn't that be an interesting AU for Torchwood/MCU? *eg*

Need to confess. Though I have no real need for it - I finally ordered one of the Loki figures - it was just too damned tempting/cute - sigh.

Too bad they don't offer Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones figures in the line.

Edited at 2019-08-30 10:52 pm (UTC)
I'd read it! I'm not familiar enough with MCU canon to attempt writing it though.

Awww, I can't blame you he's so adorable.

Yes, too bad =( I have both Funko Pop Jacks and a custom made Ianto Pop a friend got for me. They're cute too, but not bendy.
Frankly considering some of the figures that are offered (including SoNotWorthy!CaptainAmerica aka Bully!SteveRogers - they really should offer Torchwood figures (minus Gwen - I do not need to see that gap-toothed wide-cow-eye face on a figurine *shudder*).


There are a few Torchwood/MCU crossovers out there - but I don't think that there any currently available that offer the idea of Ianto and Loki are related in some fashion. Honestly there are some really good MCU fics if you're interested. One of the recent best is a story in which Tony Stark and Nebula (played by Karen Gillan) in a sort of father/daughter mentor/student-ish kind of thing. It sounds awkward but in the story it's quite well handled. Frankly TPTB with MCU need to take a page from the fans and actually consider things like logic and reality - cause the more farfetch you make something it needs more grounding in real world to work well. sigh - sorry stepping off my MCU soapbox now
It's sad that Torchwood has gone so far out of fashion that nobody wants to issue new Torchwood figures. I agree though, we really don't need a Gwen figure.

I hardly have time to read Torchwood stories, never mind MCU, I'm way behind. Anyway, I don't want to spoil myself for the movies anyway, on the off-chance I do eventually get to watch them.

I saw most of the movies up to Endgame (I only missed Captain Marvel and from what we saw of her in Endgame - we didn't miss a thing). Endgame just gutted me. I'm still in mourning - though I might just be permanently fixed at 'denial' cause I'm living in there - have a nice condo set up with a great view with all those beautiful fanfics that 'fix' what TPTB in MCU broke. *G*
Denial is a beautiful state to live in, I've been there since 2009, living it up with Ianto *G*

Despite not having seen most of the movies (the first Captain America, Iron Man 1 & 2 and the first Thor are all I've seen), I still watch Agents of SHIELD, and I have no clue what's going on most of the time but Coulson makes me happy. It's nice to drool over someone my age instead of feeling like a dirty old woman drooling over youngsters ;)
Coulson is a great character one of the very few Marvel allowed the same actor from the movies to play on tv. Honestly to have a clue what's going on in the major arc of the MCU - you need to see Avengers (2012), Iron Man 3 (which I liked far more than IM2), Captain America Winter Soldier, Avengers Age of Ultron, Thor Ragnorak and then Captain America Civil War eventually leading to Black Panther and Infinity War and Endgame (honestly you can skip Ant Man, Ant Man and the Wasp, Captain Marvel and Thor 2, the Hulk movies even the Spider-Man movies with Tom Holland - I love Tom Holland but I don't find his movies to be all that impactful on the MCU universe - find a good source for plot details and you can know whatever you need to know for those movies that you skip).

Captain America Civil War kind of broke the fandom for me. What happened there forever changed my view of Steve Rogers. It also caused me to look back on how Tony Stark had been treated overall in MCU and I can't think rationally in regards to TPTB of the MCU and their personal views on Stark and then finding out the intentions for Endgame in regards to Tony and Steve just made my gut boil with ire.
That's a lot of movies... I grew up reading the comics back in the 70s, so I LOVE Marvel, but I only get to watch the movies if they show up on TV at a convenient time, so it could e yeas before I see them all. I think I saw one of the Tom Holland Spiderman ones... is it sacrilege to say I liked the Tobey Maguire ones better?

I don't think anyone else could be Coulson. I just love him. Of course I've only seen him on SHIELD, not in the movies.

I think I might miss Civil War, because I grew up adoring Cap and I don't want him tarnished in my mind. =(