badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,
badly_knitted
badly_knitted

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FAKE Fic: Hazards

Title: Hazards
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Marty, Dee, Ted, Drake, JJ, Chief Smith, OCs.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Two members of the squad are looking a bit worse for wear the morning after Halloween.
Word Count: 832
Written For: Challenge 132: Bandage at beattheblackdog.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.




First of November, and Marty arrived at the precinct with a bandage around his left arm. Ryo might sometimes be a bit of an airhead, but not even he could fail to notice that, especially since his fellow detective had been perfectly fine the previous day.


“What on earth happened to you?”


Marty sighed as he slumped down at his desk. “I got bitten; occupational hazard.”


“Yeah,” Dee agreed. “Too many people have dogs they can’t, or won’t, control. Got bitten myself a couple years back.” Being Dee, he naturally didn’t bother to mention that he’d merely been nipped on the ankle by a Chihuahua; that part wasn’t important. A dog was a dog, regardless of size, and in his experience the smaller they were the more bad-tempered they seemed to be, little bundles of attitude with sharp teeth.


“Not a dog,” Marty corrected. “A toddler; one of the delightful hazards of being a parent.”


That got a disbelieving laugh from Ted. “One of your own kids bit you?”


“You just wait until you have a family. It happens more often than you might think, especially at this time of year.”


“What does the time of year have to do with anything?” Drake asked, baffled.


“You do know what last night was, right?”


“Of course I do, it was Halloween!” Drake smiled. “Free candy! I took my nieces trick or treating, it was great!”


“Yeah? You should be thankful you didn’t have to deal with the aftermath. My two-year-old got into the candy my wife bought to hand out to the neighbourhood kids. Sugar-hyped toddlers are scary; Sammy decided he wasn’t going to bed, he wanted more candy, and when I said ‘no’ he sank his teeth into my arm, deep enough to draw blood.”


“How come you had to deal with the kid?” Ted asked. “Where was your wife? Isn’t that her job?”


“Sexist much?” JJ piped up.


“If you’re serious about proposing to Alison, you might want to avoid statements like that,” Dee advised his friend. “She’d tear you a new one.” Ted had been dating Alison McCallister for almost a year and she was living proof you didn’t need to be a redhead to have a fiery temper.


“For your information,” Marty said, “Gina and I share the childcare, and everything else, equally. She was out trick or treating with our other two. After she got back I had to take myself off to the ER. They gave me a tetanus shot and bandaged my arm; luckily I didn’t need stitches. You wouldn’t believe how sharp baby teeth are. Must’ve been all those rusks he gnawed on back when he was teething; honed them to a fine edge.”


Dee grinned. “Gotta have a healthy respect for the little runts, they can inflict a lot of damage when they want to. This is why Mother never lets her lot have all their Halloween candy at once. The kids bitch about it, but controllin’ the candy supply keeps ‘em more manageable. You think one sugar-hyped brat is hard to handle, imagine tryin’ to wrangle a dozen or more of ‘em.”


Marty winced. “Doesn’t bear thinking about! Sammy was more than enough for me, screaming and carrying on. I’m gonna make damn sure the Halloween candy is well out of reach next year.”


JJ nodded sagely. “That’s good, learn from your mistakes and you won’t repeat them.”


“What the hell are you lot doing? You’re not being paid to stand around chatting! Don’t you have work to do, you miserable layabouts?” The Chief’s bellow had everyone scattering back to their own desks before he was halfway trough his tirade. “That’s better,” he grouched. It sounded like he was in an even worse mood than usual, and Ryo could hazard a guess as to why.


“Um, Chief?” he asked tentatively. “What happened to your head?”


Apparently Marty wasn’t the only one in the wars; Chief Smith was sporting a black eye and a bandage around his forehead.


“Hmpf. Knew it was a bad idea letting the kids have a pet. Tripped over the damned dog!” Turning on his heel, he stalked back to his office, muttering to himself.


“Kids and dogs,” Dee murmured. “Equally hazardous to your health. Good thing I’m never havin’ either one.”


Sitting across from him, Ryo was the only one who heard. “What about Bikky?”


“He’s yours; nothin’ to do with me. I may haveta tolerate him but that’s as far as it goes.”


“And the kids at the orphanage?”


“Mother’s responsibility, I just get roped in to help out occasionally. Not the same as takin’ care of ‘em, and I get to hand ‘em back after.”


Ryo laughed softly. “You just keep telling yourself that.” Whether Dee wanted to admit it or not, the orphans, and Bikky for that matter, were his family and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. No amount of denial would change that.


It just made Ryo love him all the more.



The End










Tags: beattheblackdog, chief smith, dee laytner, drake parker, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, jj adams, other character/s, ryo maclean, ted o'neill
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