Characters: Owen, Ianto, OC.
Written For: Challenge 577: Weird at tw100.
Summary: Humans seem just as weird to aliens as they do to us.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
Owen eyed the new arrival warily.
“Oh great, some kind of weird alien. That’s all we need.”
A tinny voice came from the creature’s translator. “Who’re you calling weird? Looked at your reflection lately? It everyone here looks like you how can you bear to look at each other? You’re so ugly!”
“You’re one to talk,” Owen snapped back. “What d’you need two heads for anyway?”
“How do you manage with only one?” the creature’s second head asked. “Don’t you get lonely?”
“’Course not, I’ve got loads of people to talk to. Don’t need to talk to myself.”
“I think it’s sad,” said the first head. “Imagine when it sings; no harmony. How can it attract a mate that way?”
“For your information, we don’t sing to attract mates.”
“You’re right,” said the second head to the first. “It’s even more tragic than we thought! No wonder the people here are so moody.”
“We’re not all like him,” Ianto said, approaching having done some research on the SUV’s computers.
“Are you that one’s mate?”
“Good heaven’s no, I have better taste. He’s weird, ugly, moody, and can’t sing.”
“He has his uses though. How may we assist you?”