Characters: Dee, Ryo.
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: It’s still early days in their relationship and Dee wants more than he’s getting from Ryo, but he doesn’t want his lover to feel pressured.
Word Count: 1543
Written For: Challenge 178: Limit at beattheblackdog.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Time and time again Dee had felt as though he’d reached the very limit of his patience with the man he adored, and yet, just as with every time before, he’d searched the depths of his soul and found the strength and determination to be patient a while longer, reminding himself that whatever he had to go through to win his man, Ryo would be worth it in the end.
And he’d been right; that first night together had been a sublime experience. It hadn’t been perfect, they’d both had certain distractions that had kept them from enjoying the experience to the fullest, but it had given Dee a tantalising taste of what he could have with Ryo, what they might share in time.
He’d had to be patient again for several weeks after that night, not knowing for sure whether there would ever be a second night or whether Ryo thought the first one had been a mistake. That had almost been harder for Dee to bear than all the time before their first night together, because back then he’d only been able to guess at what he was missing out on, and after that first time he’d known for sure, in intimate detail, but he’d also known better than to push or demand, wanting Ryo to come to him willingly and by his own choice rather than because he felt obliged to. Dee was beginning to suspect that when it came to Ryo, his patience was limitless, and so he waited, and waited, and then waited some more until Ryo was at last ready to admit the truth about his feelings. Their second night together, in the comfort of Ryo’s king-sized bed, had been sheer ecstasy.
If he’d thought that would open the floodgates to endless nights of passion, though, he’d been wrong. However obvious it was that Ryo had enjoyed what they’d done together, it was equally obvious he was still holding back. For every few times Dee suggested they have sex, Ryo would say yes maybe once, if Dee was lucky. If it had been up to him, Dee would have bedded his partner morning, noon, and night, every day of the week, but apparently Ryo’s sex drive was a lot lower than Dee’s own. Ryo had his own limits, which frustrated Dee no end, and so he was back to being patient once more, aching to physically express his feelings for the man who was now his lover, but having to restrain himself.
Part of it was obviously that Ryo needed time to adjust to the new and unfamiliar intimacy between them. He’d repressed his true sexuality for years, and had grown accustomed to doing without sex, so it made sense that his body a well as his mind might take a while to get with the program. He was probably still processing his new reality as well, finding his feet as a gay man, so Dee tried really hard not to put too much pressure on his lover, encouraging him rather than trying to force things when Ryo wasn’t in the mood. The trouble was, leaving it to Ryo to set the pace just meant that nine times out of ten Ryo just let things drift along more or less the way they had pre-relationship, perfectly happy with nothing more than kissing and cuddling, and that didn’t work for Dee at all. Ryo almost never seemed to be in the mood for sex.
Relationships were about compromise, and right now, as far as Dee could see, he was the one doing all the compromising. Maybe he did have limits after all, because it looked like he’d just about reached them. Seemed a confrontation might be in order; if he didn’t voice his displeasure, Ryo might never get the message.
“I love you, and I want you, okay? I want to be with you, but I’m a red-blooded guy and I need more than just kisses. I know maybe you don’t need sex as often as I want it, but there has to be a bit of give and take in any relationship, and right now, seems to me I’m the one doin’ all the givin’ while you do all the takin’. That’s unfair to both of us.”
Ryo’s shoulders slumped. “I know, and I’m sorry; it’s all just taking a bit of getting used to. It’s not so much that I don’t want to… be with you like that, sleep with you, and I enjoy it when we do, but it’s hard… uh… difficult to find the time, what with work, and taking care of Bikky. He’s still a kid, so I have to put him first, I need to be there for him, but I feel awkward doing… what we do together when he’s in the next room. The walls here are so thin I always worry that he’ll hear us. It’s easier to relax at your place, but then I’d have to leave Bikky alone or get up right after and go home, and that seems worse than not doing it at all.”
“I get it, I do, and I don’t wanna put ya on the spot, babe, but I can’t go without for weeks on end, not now we’re together. Workin’ with you all day, knowin’ exactly what it feels like to be with ya, but not bein’ able to touch ya… It gets me so hard sometimes I have to go take care of myself just so I can concentrate on work.”
Ryo blushed furiously. “You do? I… didn’t know that.”
“Well now ya do, so what’re we gonna do about it? I’m open to suggestions.”
“Um, well, Bikky’s going over to Carol’s after school tomorrow for dinner and a study session; he’ll be spending the night, so you could come over to my place after work or I could go to yours…” Ryo bit his bottom lip, hardly daring to look at his partner.
“But are ya gonna be in the mood for sex tomorrow night?”
If anything, Ryo’s blush deepened. “I don’t know. I mean, most of the time I don’t think I am, but then you kiss me, or touch me, and suddenly I want you so bad it almost hurts. It scares me a little, wanting you so much, losing control like that,” he admitted. “I’ve never felt that way before.”
“Wanna know somethin’? Bein’ with you makes me feel exactly the same way, like I’m out of control, like the world could be endin’ around us but I wouldn’t be able to stop even if my life depended on it. You feel so good, when we’re doin’ it I never wanna stop. It’s more intense with you than with anyone I’ve ever been with. The last time we were together, couple weeks back, when we did it on my sofa, I swear I came so hard I blacked out for a minute.”
“Dee!” Ryo glanced nervously towards his bedroom wall, knowing Bikky was in bed, hopefully asleep, in the room beyond.
“He can’t hear us, babe. Not when we’re just talkin’. So, tomorrow night? We could go straight to my place from work, order takeout, and make a night of it. How does that sound?”
Ryo nodded, looking a bit hesitant. “Okay, that sounds like a good idea.”
“And just so ya know, the fact that we’re makin’ plans now to have sex tomorrow night doesn’t mean ya haveta go through with it if for some reason you’re not in the mood. I’m not gonna force ya just ‘cause ya said yes to it today. We gotta find a rhythm that we’re both comfortable with. I don’t want ya feelin’ ya gotta put out every time just ‘cause I want to do it.”
“Okay, yes, I guess that makes sense.”
“Good. So, see ya at work tomorrow?” Dee stood up from the bed where they’d been sitting, reaching for his jacket.
“Of course, but… Dee?”
“Yeah?” Eyebrow raised, Dee gave his partner an enquiring look.
“Well, I was just thinking. Tomorrow night is a long way off, there’s no way of knowing what might happen between now and then what with work and everything, and… well, you’re here right now, and so am I. Um, I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you were to ask, I wouldn’t say no.”
“Is that so?” A grin spread across Dee’s face as he tossed his jacket back onto the chair in the corner of the room. “What about tomorrow night though?”
“I don’t know, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky two nights in a row.” Ryo blushed, but with his course of action decided upon he stood up and began to unbutton his shirt.
Dee’s grin grew even wider as he reached out to help; his patience might have its limits, but what he felt for this gorgeous man had no limits at all. However tomorrow night panned out, tonight he was gonna prove that to Ryo in a way his lover couldn’t possibly misunderstand, and he’d do his damnedest to make sure it was so memorable that by tomorrow night Ryo would be more than ready for an encore.