Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Ryo is frustrated by his inability to make the first move when he’s in the mood for love…
Word Count: 815
Written For: Jae’s Monthly Drabble Challenge 169 - Bold, Charisma, Cusp, Forward, Luck.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Ryo isn’t like Dee at all, which is perhaps the whole point; after all it’s said that opposites attract, and he and Dee could hardly be more different. So while Dee, whenever he wants something, has no problem coming right out and saying so, Ryo hesitates, wavers, procrastinates and, especially if it has anything to do with sex, somehow never gets around to saying anything at all. He just leaves Dee to make the first move and if he’s in a suitable mood, simply goes along with whatever his lover wants. It’s a lot easier and less embarrassing that way. Besides, Dee is a generous lover so Ryo is never left feeling unsatisfied. Which is all good.
It’s just, no matter how much he sometimes wishes he could, Ryo can’t be like Dee, always so bold and forward, with his easy smile and effortless charisma. He gets tongue-tied whenever he so much as thinks of making the first move. It’s one thing just giving Dee an encouraging pat on the back, a peck on the cheek to say thank you, or a hug when he looks like he needs one, but it’s another thing entirely to intimate that he’d like to have sex now, please, even though he knows Dee’s unlikely to turn down his advances. Horndog that he is, Dee’s always up for it, ready and willing to try his luck anytime, day or night, even at work. It doesn’t take any effort at all on Ryo’s part to turn him on.
That should mean that Ryo gets what he wants anyway, even without having to take the plunge and actually say something, but it doesn’t quite work out that way, partly because Dee isn’t always present when Ryo’s in the mood. It’s not like they live together.
Ryo knows he can satisfy himself if need be, and sometimes he does, but that’s not always enough, so what’s he supposed to do when he’s home alone and the urge strikes? Drop by Dee’s place for some specious reason and hope his lover tries to seduce him? Phone Dee up and ask if he wants to come over for the evening? What would he do if Dee asked why, or said he was busy, but maybe another night? That would be all kinds of awkward.
His inability to ask for what he wants makes Ryo feel foolish and vaguely ashamed. Dee is his partner, his best friend, and his lover; if there’s anyone he can talk to about everything, even the things he finds embarrassing to discuss, then it should be the man he loves more than anything, but even though they’ve been together for almost a year he still gets so flustered that even if he tried he knows he wouldn’t be able to get the words out. He’d just go scarlet and start stuttering, which wouldn’t help matters. And yet, letting Dee always take the lead is unfair; he shouldn’t have to do all the work, not when they’re supposed to be equals. It’s a habit Ryo really needs to break; he just has no idea where to start.
The Chief often complains that Dee’s work ethic, or more accurately his lack of one, has rubbed off on Ryo, the opposite of what he’d been hoping to achieve by having them work together. Ryo doesn’t think that’s true, or hopes it isn’t anyway, but if it is then why has that rubbed off on him and not Dee’s confidence in the bedroom? It hardly seems fair to have taken on some of his partner’s less admirable qualities and none of the useful ones.
How difficult would it be to say to Dee, ‘Let’s go to bed’ or words to that effect? Or maybe not even say anything at all, just lean in and kiss him, not a peck on the cheek but a proper kiss, with tongue and everything? What’s stopping him from straddling his lover’s lap and starting to undress him? He could even simply stand up, take Dee by the hand, and lead him to the bedroom; he’s pretty sure Dee would get the message loud and clear. He’s also absolutely certain his lover would approve.
‘So why don’t I do it? What am I so afraid of?’
It isn’t likely Dee would turn him down, he’d have to be at death’s door to not want sex, and he’s always trying to encourage Ryo to tell him what he wants in bed, even if so far he hasn’t had much success.
‘Okay,’ Ryo decides. ‘Next time we’re alone together, either here or at Dee’s place, I’m definitely going to make the first move. It’s bound to get easier after the first time, right? The first step is always the hardest.’
Only Ryo already knows that when the time comes he’ll probably find some reason to chicken out again. He always does.