Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Setting: Vol. 7, Acts 19 and 20.
Summary: Ryo feels guilty for keeping Dee hanging for so long.
Word Count: 784
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge 303: Amnesty at fan_flashworks, using Challenge 49: Dangling.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
‘Diana’s right,’ Ryo thought gloomily. ‘It’s not fair of me to keep Dee dangling the way I have been, blowing hot and cold, giving him a tiny bit of hope and then snatching it away again. What am I waiting for anyway, permission to love him? I’m an adult, not some timid teenager; I need to get a hold of myself…’
That unfortunate phrasing almost derailed his train of thought, but he ruthlessly dragged his mind back to the issue at hand. ‘Okay, so it’ll be scary having to face up to everything about myself that I’ve spent years trying to deny, but fear isn’t a good enough reason to sit back and do nothing, so the next time we’re alone together I’ll be completely honest with Dee and then… Well, I guess then I’ll find out what I’ve been missing.’
Making the decision wound up being way easier than Ryo had expected, and giving in to Dee’s advances introduced him to pleasures that he’d never truly imagined. That night together at Dee’s place was amazing, one he was sure he’d never forget, not for the rest of his life, and it erased most of Ryo’s doubts and fears, but he still needed some time afterwards to process everything that had happened between them, and to get used to the changes becoming a couple would inevitably make to their relationship.
Taking a bit of time was fine, not to mention perfectly understandable; admitting he was gay was a huge leap forwards and it was only natural that he’d need a bit of breathing space to adjust to his new reality, but once again he found himself dragging it out for too long. It seemed he hadn’t yet learned the lesson Diana had tried to drum into him, but then Ryo had never been one to rush the important things. He didn’t want to screw this up.
Nevertheless, Ryo knew three weeks was probably two weeks too long to keep Dee hanging without saying anything, and he felt bad about that, but figured maybe he could make up for it by taking his partner out to dinner. Asking him out felt a little awkward, mostly because Dee seemed to be in a weird, distracted mood, but the meal was excellent and Dee seemed to enjoy himself. Afterwards, as they were taking a walk across the bridge in the darkness to look at the lights, just like they were a couple of tourists rather than New York natives, it had seemed the perfect setting for clearing the air between them, along with any misunderstandings. Once again, Dee’s reaction left Ryo wondering why he’d waited so long and he silently vowed that he wouldn’t make that mistake a third time.
Later, lying with Dee in his own bed, in his own, familiar apartment, Ryo could barely remember how they’d gotten back there. A taxi had been involved, he was sure of that much, but the only clear memory he had of the journey was of Dee’s lips on his, endless kisses stoking the fires between them, and leading to another intimate encounter even more passionate than the first.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured sleepily against Dee’s chest as they lay together afterwards. They’d already talked about this, but he still couldn’t quite let it go, ashamed at the way he’d treated Dee, stringing him along without ever really meaning to.
“How many times do I gotta tell ya there’s nothin’ to be sorry about?” Lips brushed Ryo’s hairline. “We got our wires a bit crossed for a while, it happens, but we’re fine now.” Dee’s arm tightened around him.
“No, that’s not…” Ryo sighed. “I’m sorry I kept you dangling for so long. I mean I know I was confused but that’s no excuse, so I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me.”
“It wasn’t, but I get it; sometimes feelings take a while to sort out. Not sayin’ the wait was easy, ‘cause it wasn’t, but I’m pretty sure you’re worth it.”
“I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.”
“Yeah, so am I. There was a time or two I wondered if you’d ever figure yourself out enough for us to be together, but in the end, givin’ up wasn’t an option; truth is, I’d have waited forever. I guess that’s love. You were it, the one I’d been waitin’ my whole life for; I knew it for sure. I didn’t want anyone else. Still don’t, and I never will.”
“Good, because there’s no one else I want to be with either. It’s you and only you, forever.”
Dee smiled. “Forever, huh?” He pulled Ryo into a kiss, murmuring against his lips, “That suits me just fine.”