badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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FAKE Fic: Festive Smoochies

Title: Festive Smoochies
Fandom: FAKE
Characters: Dee, Ryo, JJ, Drake.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Like Like Love.
Summary: Dee has learned to dread the festive season thanks to JJ’s obsession with him, but all that’s about to change.
Word Count: 1384
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Prompt 3: Under The Mistletoe at lovers_corner.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Ever since JJ had caught up with him again Dee had come to dread the run up to Christmas. The moment the first of December arrived, out came JJ’s ever-growing stash of Christmas decorations, turning the squad room from an admittedly drab, not to mention shabby place of work into an overdone and eye-wateringly garish Christmas grotto, complete with tinsel, fake snow, and dozens of strategically placed sprigs of mistletoe.

There’d been a time, when he’d been younger and less jaded, that Dee had welcomed mistletoe season, the perfect excuse to smooch anyone he wanted to without serious reprisals, but that had been before JJ had gotten fixated on him. Now, every day throughout December he had to enter the squad room as if he was traversing a minefield, making sure never to pass under any mistletoe if JJ was anywhere in sight, for fear of being assaulted.

The little guy never settled for a quick peck, always went in for a full-on lip-lock, usually spouting some kind of romantic drivel that Dee didn’t bother listening to. It was no fun being the unwilling object of someone’s lovesick obsession, and spending most of his time trying to avoid being glomped took all the joy out of the festive season.

Dee would’ve had no objection if it were Ryo cornering him for a smooch. Hell, he’d make out with his baby anywhere, anytime, but Ryo preferred not to advertise their relationship, and thought getting up close and personal in the workplace was unprofessional. When they weren’t at work it was a different story altogether, with Ryo much happier about being smooched, willingly giving in, eager for his kisses, so Dee mostly abided by the rules his lover had set when they’d first gotten together as a couple, with only the occasional complaint. Truthfully he could have accepted not getting Christmas smoochies at work at all far more easily than having to fend off JJ’s attentions every time he turned around.

“What’s up with you this morning?” Ryo asked, noticing Dee’s furtive behaviour, peering around corners to check the coast was clear before advancing. “Are you in trouble with the Chief again?”

“What? No!” Dee cast an insulted look his lover’s way; he was actually in their boss’s good books at present, which made a pleasant change. “You know what day it is, right?”

“Tuesday. What does that have to do with anything?”

“The date, dumbass! It’s December first, and you know what that means!”

“Oh! You’re worried about getting ambushed.” Ryo grinned. “Good luck with that.”

“You could at least pretend to be sympathetic,” Dee grumbled. “It’s no fun gettin’ jumped all over.”

“You did the same thing to me often enough when we first met, pouncing and kissing me even when I told you to stop.”

“Yeah, but that was different; I knew you liked it even when you kept insistin’ you were straight.”

“Really. How’d you work that out?”

Dee looked smug. “When I kissed ya, you kissed back.”

“Not always!”

“Nine times outta ten, and don’t even try denyin’ it. I’m just that good.”

“You just keep telling yourself that.”

“Point is, you wanted me even if you didn’t want to admit it, but I’ve never wanted JJ, never led him on, I tell him all the time I’m not interested, and still he won’t leave me alone. This time of year’s the worst; I swear he must buy up half the mistletoe in New York and then I spend most of my time tryin’ to avoid gettin’ caught underneath it.”

“Why don’t you just take it down?”

“D’ya think I haven’t tried that? Fast as I get rid of it he puts more up. I’ll be rippin’ it down from around my desk, doorways, the break room, coffee machine, water cooler, and who knows where else, but the moment my back’s turned…” Dee trailed off, shrugging. “No matter how careful I am I still miss some, and then he’s just… there, declarin’ his undyin’ love and tryin’ to kiss me. What does it take to get through to him?”

“I don’t know, but if I see any mistletoe I’ll warn you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“As long as you promise not to try stealing a kiss from me. We ARE at work, after all.”

Dee sighed. “You drive a hard bargain, but I guess I can live with that. Don’t know what you’re missin’ though.”

“Oh but I do.” Ryo flashed a grin at his partner. “I just…”

“Don’t think it’s appropriate behaviour for the workplace. Yeah, I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”

“Come on, want me to go ahead as mistletoe spotter?”

“Funny. Just stick with me, then if JJ pounces I’ll duck behind ya and he can kiss you instead.”

Ryo raised an eyebrow. “And you’d be okay with that, someone else kissing me?”

“Good point. On second thoughts, he tries anything with either one of us I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

“I dunno. I’ll think of something.” Taking a deep breath, and checking the nearby ceilings one more time, Dee strode out of the stairwell towards the squad room, pausing just outside the doorway to scan for hazards of the green leaves and white berries variety. He spotted several sprigs, reaching up to pull down the ones above the doorway, then cautiously entered.

Spying the two men, JJ bounded over, mistletoe in hand, holding it above his head as he pecked Ryo on the cheek.

“Don’t you just love the festive season? Merry Christmas, Ryo!” He turned to Dee, who tried to retreat, but JJ was too quick, puckering up and standing on tiptoe to plant a smacker on the taller detective’s lips. “Wouldn’t want you feeling left out!” Then he spun away without a second glance, leaving Dee standing there, a confused expression on his face.

“Okay, that was weird. That sure looked like JJ, but it didn’t act like him.”

“What’s the matter, disappointed you didn’t get smooched?” Ryo teased.

“You gotta be kiddin’! Never thought I’d see the day he’d let me go with nothin’ more than a peck. I’d just like to know why.”

“Maybe he’s just warming up and he’ll be back for another try in a minute.”

“Don’t even joke!” Dee shuddered. “If that’s the case, I’d better plan to be elsewhere.”

“Drakey!” JJ’s voice rang out as he bounded towards the doorway. “Merry Christmas!”

Dee and Ryo turned just in time to see JJ launch himself into Drake’s arms, kissing him with the kind of passion he used to reserve for Dee. Drake didn’t appear to have any objections, wrapping his arms around JJ and returning the kiss enthusiastically; it was several long minutes before they finally came up for air.

“Mystery solved,” Ryo said, smiling. “Looks like JJ’s moved on to pastures new.”

“It’s about damned time! My ribs are grateful,” Dee said with feeling, turning towards his desk. “Maybe this year I can get through the rest of the month with them intact.” Usually by the time New Year rolled around Dee would be a mass of painful bruises from JJ’s frequent demonstrations of affection. December was already starting to look brighter.

Ryo stopped him. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Like what?”

Dark eyes glanced upwards and a finger pointed towards the small green sprig overhead. “Mistletoe!” With that, Ryo caught his partner by his lapels and pulled him in for a lingering kiss.

“Not that I’m complainin’,” Dee said when the kiss ended, “but what happened to the deal we made a few minutes ago? Thought you vetoed mistletoe kisses.”

“I think you’ll find I only made YOU promise not to try stealing a kiss, never said anything about me,” Ryo murmured, kissing Dee again.

“Gotta say, I approve.”

“Just don’t get used to it.” Ryo drew back. “We’d better get some work done before the Chief catches us.”

“And after work?”

Ryo pretended to give that some thought. “Hmm. Maybe you should hold on to the mistletoe you took down from the doorway. We might need it later.”

Dee broke into a grin as he ambled over to his desk and swept the fake snow off it; funny how getting smoochies from the right person could change a guy’s perspective. Suddenly the festive season was looking up!

The End

Tags: dee laytner, drake parker, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, jj adams, lovers_corner, ryo maclean

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