Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Setting: Throughout the manga.
Summary: Both Ryo and Dee are taking risks with their hearts, but maybe it will prove worth it in the end.
Word Count: 1449
Written For: Challenge 230: Risk at beattheblackdog.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Everything in life was a risk; love and relationships were no exception. Still, it was a scary prospect. Ryo had never intended for any of this to happen, he’d tried his best to keep Dee at arm’s length, but his partner was beyond persistent. Against his better judgement, against everything he’d tried to tell himself his entire adult life, and despite all his denials, he’d been irresistibly drawn to the stubborn, infuriatingly cocky man he worked with from their first meeting. Now he could no longer deny that he was already in too deep to ever get out, even if he wanted to. He was falling in love with Dee.
But what then? What if he did, as Diana suggested, give himself to Dee? What if he slept with his partner and after a few days, or weeks, or months, they just fizzled out? Would they still be able to work together afterwards? Could they still be friends? Because the last thing Ryo wanted was to lose the friendship of one of the most important people in his life. If they got together then broke up, would Ryo have to transfer to another precinct, leaving behind the friends he’d made at the two-seven? Most of them had been Dee’s friends first, and Dee had been there longer, so if anyone had to leave it would be Ryo, and then what? Start over somewhere else, a new precinct and a new partner? He didn’t want that, he liked where he was working now and he liked the people he worked with, but what choice would he have?
But what if it didn’t go wrong, what if Dee did honestly love him as he claimed he did, what if he wasn’t just trying to get Ryo into bed as he’d been doing practically since the day they met? Ryo wanted to believe that his partner was sincere, but Dee had a reputation; according to the people who knew him best he dated a lot, always had someone new in his life, or he had before Ryo had been assigned as his work partner…
Now he thought of it, Ryo couldn’t remember hearing about Dee going on a single date since they’d met. He flirted casually with anyone he found attractive, but as far as Ryo had been able to tell, it didn’t go any further than that. Then again, Dee hung out with him so much of the time it was difficult to see how he could be having a relationship with someone else, or even a lot of one-night stands, on the side.
Dee claimed he wasn’t interested in anyone else, that no one but Ryo would do, but was Dee just infatuated with him? There was still every chance that once he got what he wanted from Ryo he’d come to realise what he’d been feeling had never been anything more than simple lust. That was what worried Ryo the most now that he was starting to admit to himself the strength of his own feelings.
‘Should I sleep with him and see where this thing between us, whatever it is, might lead or would it be better for both of us if we just remained friends? If I made it clear that friendship was all I was interested in, would Dee eventually move on, find himself a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, elsewhere? Maybe, but do I really want him to?’
The answer to that last question was simple: No. Ryo didn’t want Dee to take up with someone else. Scared as he was about finally accepting his sexuality and starting a relationship with a man, he knew deep down it was what he wanted, what he’d always wanted, even if it had taken him years and a lot of soul-searching to finally realise it.
So, although he’d be taking a huge risk with no way of knowing whether or not it would work out, maybe he should go ahead anyway. No matter what he did he still might wind up losing everything, but it would be better to lose by trying than by never taking the risk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Making the decision didn’t mean he was any less nervous about it, but it was at least a step in the right direction.
Dee was a cop, a dangerous profession at the best of times, but one he’d gone into with his eyes wide open. His life was his own, and if he chose to risk it on a daily basis to protect and serve the people of the city he called home, that was his choice. Besides, he was used to taking risks; it was second nature. He’d been doing it practically since he took his first steps; he was sure Mother could testify to that considering the number of scrapes he’d gotten himself into as a kid. Risk was a natural part of life; almost nothing was risk free, not even getting out of bed in the morning.
He’d taken chances in his relationships as well, short-lived though most of them had been, dating both women and men, and at one point, both at the same time. His two lovers had known about each other, the three of them had even been out on the town together on a number of occasions, until Dee had decided three was a crowd and had gracefully dropped out and gone looking elsewhere. That had been a risk that had worked out better for the other two parties involved than it had for him; he’d even been best man at their wedding a couple of years back, having technically introduced them to each other.
This time was different though. He’d been attracted to his new partner from the moment they’d met, had thought maybe they could get some kind of friends with benefits thing going on. What was wrong with a little friendly lust between two consenting adults? Only it hadn’t worked out that way. Ryo had resisted all his advances for almost two years now, and before he’d known it Dee had found himself head over heels in love with his infuriatingly clueless partner. That had come as a bit of a shock, although Dee couldn’t say the revelation had been unwelcome.
So, for way too long now he’d been celibate, unless you counted a lot of nights, and mornings, taking care of himself. He hadn’t planned it that way, but once Ryo had gotten under his skin the thought of sleeping with anyone other than the man of his dreams had simply not been appealing. It would just be mindless, emotionless sex, and Dee found these days he wanted more than that. He wasn’t a kid anymore; maybe it was time he stopped playing the field and settled down. He wanted someone to share every part of his life with, not just his bed, and he couldn’t imagine anyone better to settle down with than Ryo Maclean.
He’d told Ryo that time after time, wearing his heart on his sleeve, for all the good it had done him. He got the feeling his partner didn’t believe him and the worst part of that was, it was Dee’s own fault. He’d passed off his earliest advances as jokes so many times that Ryo would no longer believe him, no matter how hard he tried to convince his partner that he was telling the truth. Way to go shooting yourself in the foot, Laytner!
He couldn’t give up though, he’d come too far, was committed to his chosen course of action, and regardless of the outcome he had no choice but to see this thing through to the end. There was still a chance he might persuade Ryo to give the ill-fated test drive another try, and maybe once he realised what he was missing out on… It was a slim hope, but any hope at all was better than none.
Ryo hadn’t asked for a different partner or a transfer to another precinct, and they got along just fine. Better than fine. They made a great team, both at work and just hanging out together. At the very least they were close friends, and if that was all he ever got maybe Dee would have to accept that, but until Ryo told him straight out that they’d never be more than friends, he wasn’t giving up. He’d willingly risk his heart, and everything he was, on the chance that what he felt for Ryo would last a lifetime. He just had to win his man first, and he was ready to do whatever it took. What did he have to lose? After all, he’d already lost his heart.