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Ianto Little Smile

July 2019



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The Oncoming Coat

Drabble: Unbearable?

Title: Unbearable?

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Jack

Rating: G

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: Jack ponders on love and immortality.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.

A/N: For neverminetohold’s prompt: Jack (Ianto optional): the unbearable lightness of being. It turned into a double drabble!

As a child, Jack believed being immortal would be wonderful, but now he knew better: It was a curse he would never escape. Even death provided only a brief respite.

He was condemned to live forever, watching everything change while he stayed the same.

Worse, he would inevitably outlive everyone he loved, watching them age and die, leaving him behind.

Hard as he tried to keep people at arm’s length, it never worked. Someone always managed to sneak past his defences into his heart, making him care.

Just how many times could a heart break before it shattered beyond repair?


But what was the point of life without love?

It didn’t bear thinking about.

A hollow, empty, existence devoid of companionship and that precious, unique connection to another living being would be even worse torture than loving and losing.

Although it was his greatest source of grief and pain, love was also the only thing that made immortality bearable.

Having someone to share experiences with meant making memories to sustain him after they were gone.

Despite the agony of loss, Jack couldn’t ever regret loving. He would carry his memories of each and every loved one with him, throughout eternity.

The End


oh! this is just a wonderful insight in Jack's mind and heart!
utterly beautiful....
"Just how many times could a heart break before it shattered beyond repair?" this is so poignant
Going to my memories!
*blushes* Thank you, I'm honoured! (Very appropriate icon there!)
I was relying on you to give me some fluff this afternoon... And you give us this.
Heartbreaking but beautiful.
*sneaks off to curl up in a corner and cry-after giving Jack a big hug*
Awwww! Sorry to make you cry *fluffy hugs* I'll make it up to you with something fluffy tomorrow!

(Just remember this is before Jack finds out that he gets to keep Ianto forever).
"It's better to have love and lost than to never loved at all".

If love wasn't a necessity we'd be able to live alone our whole lives. It's something Jack has to be aware of. I love how you worked opposite to the common trend that Jack guardians his heart in fear of losing his loved ones.
I just don't believe he does. Yes, it hurts to lose those he loves, but it doesn't stop him loving. He loved Estelle, Lucia, several others over the years. He understands the pain of loss, but it doesn't stop him from falling in love.

Thank you.
A lovely piece on Jack. For some reason, the section about the hollow, empty existence made me think of the Master who has no place here, but it seems to describe him and his descent into insanity. Jack's ability to continue to love and forgive is a counterpoint to him. Despite his attempts to guard his heart, someone always sneaks thru and gives him another gift :D

I don't think Jack can really stop himself from falling in love, he has so much love in him and wants to share it. After losing someone, it takes him a while to open his heart again but he always does eventually, because being alone is worse.

The Master, I think he's afraid to let himself become so vulnerable, and probably doesn't think anyone is worthy of love, especially not primitive humans, but even Time Lords need someone.

Thank you.
That was lovely! A brilliant character study of Jack!
Thank you, glad you liked it!
Just how many times could a heart break before it shattered beyond repair?

Precisely why we all want Ianto to be immortal too - forever is better with two.
Quite right! I'm working on it....

Thank you!
This was heartbreaking and yet kinda uplifting too.
Jack will love and lose, but always love again - until he gets to keep Ianto permanently, then he just gets to keep on loving and never lose again =)

Thank you!
I have tears in my eyes. Jack truly is a tragic character and this is a lovely portrait of that.
*hands tissues*

Thank you. He's tragic, but not defeated. And now he has an everlasting Ianto, so he'll be fine =)
That's the way I see it, and I'm sure Jack does too. Immortality would be unbearable without making those connections with people, even if you know you'll outlive them.

Thank you.
Wow, I'm seriously impressed with what you made of my little prompt :)

Of course I expected heart-break - I was certainly asking for it - but this is such a great, succinct character piece about Jack, the downside of his immortality and what makes it worth holding on - the double-edged sword of friendships/love that he finds again and again. This is the pain and motivation I see in him, too.

Thank you for this! :)
You're welcome, it was a very inspiring prompt.

Yes, double-edged sword is exactly right. Love brings him the most joy as well as the most pain, and keeps him fighting even as it breaks his heart. It forces him to live instead of just existing.

Thank you.
*tissues* This was wonderful even in its sadness :*) Lovely <3<3
Thank you.

It's tragic, but hopeful, because it's love that makes his existence worthwhile even when it breaks his heart.
I wouldn't blame Jack if he'd given up on love altogether. Heartbreak is brutal! But he's wise enough to know that while it hurt him, it also saves him.

Beautiful insight in Jack's character and what keeps him ticking throughout the ages. <3<3
Thank you!

Yes, love is a blessing as well as a curse to Jack, it breaks his heart but gives him something to live for.
This is great accuracy!
Beautiful and sad at the same time. But luckily you have found a solution.
Thank you!

Yes, Jack doesn't know it yet but soon he won't have to worry about losing his Ianto. =)