badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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BtVS Triple Drabble - Lost

Title: Lost
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy.
Rating: PG
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Something That Never Happened’.
Setting: Prophecy Girl, When She Was Bad.
Summary: Buffy has lost her equilibrium.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
A/N: Triple drabble and a half, 350 words.

Buffy wishes she could just wake up and find it never happened. That the whole stupid prophecy about the Master rising, and her own death trying to stop him would turn out to be nothing more than a nightmare.

It’s not going to happen. She went below to face the Master, he killed her, he went above, Angel and Xander found her, brought her back to life, she faced the Master again, and this time he was the one who lost.

She should feel good about that, she defeated the big bad, got wet and muddy, but still made it to the dance, and everyone liked her dress, or at least everyone whose opinion counted.

But she died. There she was, just sixteen years old, drowned and dead in an underground cavern, and part of her is still there, reliving that moment when she realised she’d lost and the Master had won, knowing that if she’d just stayed away old fruit-punch mouth would have remained trapped.

“I died. That could’ve been the end of my life and I’ve hardly done anything apart from slay a few vampires.”

It’s hard to deal with, a stark reminder of how quickly her life could end. Until then, dying had been something she’d known would happen eventually, but she’d never worried about it because she was young, and healthy, and strong. She’d believed she could live forever, but now she understands how naïve that belief was.

What she doesn’t understand is how to live with the knowledge. She needs time to process.

Spending summer with her dad gave her a brief respite, yet she couldn’t enjoy it the way she would have before. The edges blurred a little but coming back to Sunnydale has just brought everything back into sharp focus.

She can’t be who she was before, doesn’t know if she’ll ever be the same person again, and she doesn’t much like the person she’s become, so cold and mean, so full of anger. Everything hurts, and nobody understands how she feels because she can’t put it into words.

Will it ever stop?

The End

Tags: btvs, buffy fic, buffy summers, drabble, fic, fic: pg

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