badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

  • Mood:

FAKE Fic: Clueless

Title: Clueless
Fandom: FAKE
Characters: Diana Spacey, Ryo, Dee, Berkeley Rose, JJ, Drake.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Vol. 3, Act 8.
Summary: Diana is baffled by how clueless some men can be when it comes to relationships.
Word Count: 877
Written For: Challenge 331: Clue at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

FBI Agent Diana Spacey shook her head in disbelief; considering they were supposed to be detectives, the men of the 27th Precinct’s Serious Crimes Unit were an alarmingly clueless bunch. Frankly, it baffled her how they ever managed to solve any crimes, although to be perfectly fair, they did seem to be more on the ball when it came to doing their jobs. It was everything else that apparently went right over their heads.

Take Ryo Maclean for example. He was a good-looking guy with a first-rate mind when it came to seeking out clues and fitting them together, but he seemed totally oblivious to the fact that he had two men lusting after him. Not only that, but for some reason known only to himself, despite showing absolutely no interest whatsoever when attractive women flirted with him, he still considered himself straight even though it was obvious to anyone with eyes that he was attracted to his very male partner.

Then there was the partner in question, Dee Laytner, one of the two men lusting after Ryo. Dee was obviously aware that Ryo was interested in him on some level, even if Ryo appeared unaware of that fact himself. He also knew that he had competition in the form of their superior, Commissioner Berkeley Rose, but his method of courting the object of his desires was to pounce on the unsuspecting Ryo at random moments, kissing and groping him. And then he wondered why Ryo didn’t react favourably to his advances. Jeez, would it kill him to show a little finesse? He could ask Ryo to dinner, but no, he just went all caveman instead! Where was the romance in that? Where was the respect, or the consideration for Ryo’s feelings? Were all men attempting to pursue a relationship with a member of the same gender that clueless, or was Dee the exception?

Not that Berkie was any better. Diana had been carrying a torch for him practically from the day they’d met. They’d quickly become close friends and she’d fully expected a relationship to develop between them, and yet it had never happened. Berkie dated a lot, both men and women, and now he’d set his sights firmly on winning Ryo. Perhaps that was because for the first time in his life the one he fancied was not simply falling into his arms the way all of his past conquests had.

Berkeley was blessed money, position, and power on top of his good looks, and he couldn’t understand why Ryo wasn’t interested in anything he could offer. So, taking a leaf out of Laytner’s book, the Commissioner had sneakily tried to steal a kiss, and had gotten a punch to the mouth in response. Ryo was feistier than Diana would have thought, and she’d felt a certain satisfaction as she’d tended to her old friend’s split lip. Served him right. Perhaps now he’d realise he couldn’t always have anything, or anyone, he wanted.

The cluelessness didn’t end with Berkie either. Detective JJ Adams got hearts in his eyes every time Dee’s name was spoken. If Dee wanted anything, then JJ was there, ready, willing, and able to supply any of his beloved’s needs, completely ignoring the fact that Dee didn’t actually want anything from him. Everyone else knew that Dee wasn’t interested, in fact in the few weeks since she’d first met them Diana had heard Dee say so himself countless times, usually to JJ’s face, for all the good that did. JJ still tirelessly pursued the man of his dreams, blind to the fact that all he was doing was driving Dee further away. Laytner wasn’t the kind of guy who could be worn down by persistence; it just made him even more obstinate.

While JJ continued to throw himself at someone who was never going to return his feelings, his work partner had a permanent cloud over his head from getting dumped by every girl he ever dated. Now there was a man who would thrive on JJ’s brand of adoration and attention, although Drake Parker appeared not to have considered that maybe his problem was that he didn’t understand what women wanted, and perhaps he should try dating someone he DID understand, as in another man. He and JJ would be good for each other, if they’d just open their eyes and see what was right in front of them.

Dee and Ryo could be good for each other too, if Ryo would only come to his senses, stop trying to hide from himself, and accept that he was gay. And if Dee could restrain himself long enough for Ryo to sort out his feelings.

As for Berkie, he needed to stop panting after every other eligible man and woman in the known universe and see what had been staring him in the face for years now, because if he didn’t wake up and notice her soon, she was going to stop wasting time on him and look for love elsewhere. She wasn’t getting any younger, and there were plenty more fish in the sea. A girl couldn’t be expected to wait forever.

Men! As clueless as they could be, it was a miracle the human race hadn’t become extinct by now!

The End

Tags: agent diana spacey, commissioner berkeley rose, dee laytner, drake parker, fake, fake fic, fan_flashworks, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, jj adams, ryo maclean

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.