badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Ficlet: Of Buds And Butts

Title: Of Buds And Butts

Author: badly_knitted

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Rating: PG

Word Count: 218

Summary: Jack sometimes has trouble with earth sayings, much to Ianto’s exasperated amusement.

Spoilers: None.

Written For: amai_kaminari’s comment_fic prompt ‘Any, Any, "Nip it in the butt…"’

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.

“That reporter is starting to get nosy,” Jack grumbled to Ianto as they headed back to the SUV. “That’s the last thing we need. Better do something about it; nip it in the butt, as the saying goes.”

Ianto rolled his eyes.

“Bud, Jack. The saying is ‘nip it in the bud’, not butt!”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Quite sure.”

“Wow. Well, I guess that explains why people always give me funny looks when I say that.” Jack was silent for a moment, apparently thinking. In Ianto’s opinion, that was rarely a good thing. “You know what? Your version doesn’t make sense.”

“Neither does yours.”

“I think I like mine better. It’s kinkier.”

“Kinky does not automatically mean good.”

“Who says? I’d nip you in the butt any time.”

“You have. More than once.”

“And you can’t say you haven’t enjoyed it.”

“That’s true.” Ianto’s eyes took on a dreamy look.


“So you’re right; kinky is better. Most of the time.”

“Good. I’m glad that’s settled.”

“Just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“No nipping anyone else’s butt, okay?”

“Yours shall be the only butt I nip, you have my word. It’s the nicest butt I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you.”

“Shall we go home for some butt-nipping then?”

“God, yes! Thought you’d never ask. Race you to the car!”

The End


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