badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Ficlet: Hit And Run

Title: Hit And Run

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Ianto, Jack

Rating: G

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: While out weevil hunting with Ianto, Jack’s involved in a hit and run incident.

Word Count: 400

Written For: alex_kade’s prompt ‘any, any, Should a parrot hurt?’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

Running into the alleyway, gun in hand, Ianto arrived just in time to see Jack struggling a bit shakily to his feet. There was a healing cut on his temple and several smaller ones on his left cheek.

“You okay?” It was a bit of a redundant question; Jack was always okay, one way or another. Right at the moment though, he looked a bit dazed so Ianto put a steadying hand on his arm.

Jack blinked blearily, wiped blood away from his eye and finally managed to focus on his lover. “Yeah, I think so. Ianto, should a parrot hurt? I mean, they’re not that big, and they’re birds so they can’t weigh much or they wouldn’t be able to get off the ground, right?”

“Um, why are we discussing parrots?” Jack might heal fast, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be concussed.

“Because one just hit me in the face. It was blue and yellow, I saw that much before it flew right into me.” He winced and rubbed his neck. “I think I have whiplash.”

“From a parrot.”

“That’s what it looked like.” He probed his healing cheek. “Sharp claws. It was scrabbling at me. I don’t know, maybe it was a stray, just flying along, minding its own business when I ran out in front of it.” Seeing Ianto’s confusion, Jack pointed towards an intersection. “I came out of there, following the Weevil. The parrot came from that way.” He pointed in the direction Ianto had just come from. “I don’t know which of us was more surprised.” He turned back to Ianto. “It was like being hit by a missile!”

“Mown down by a parrot. That’s a new one to add to the list of bizarre Torchwood accidents.”

“Hmm. I lost the Weevil, sorry.”

“Under the circumstances, that’s not so surprising. Come on; let’s get back to the Hub. I want to check for sightings of your hit and run parrot, see if the zoo’s lost one or whether we might be dealing with some kind of shape-changing alien. I’ll check the lost and found ads too, you never know.” Ianto steered Jack back down the alley, heading towards where they’d left the SUV.


“Yes, Jack?”

“Don’t tell the others. I’d never live it down.”

Ianto patted his arm.

“Your secret’s safe with me. Besides, even if I told them they’d never believe me.”

The End

Tags: fic, fic: g, fic: one-shot, fic_promptly, ficlet, ianto jones, jack harkness, jack/ianto, torchwood fic

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