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Ianto Little Smile

August 2019



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Fic: Fluff Buffet - Part 2/2



Title: Welcome To Owen Harper’s All-You-Can-Eat Fluff Buffet - Part 2/2

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Tosh, Owen, Mickey, Andy, Jack, Ianto, Nosy. Brief mention of Gwen.

Pairings: Jack/Ianto, slight Tosh/Owen

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Don’t think so. Set after Exit Wounds and Doctor Who, Journey’s End, but everyone’s still alive and the team has been expanded.

Warnings: Typical silliness, fluff etc.

Word Count: 4023

Summary: Nosy discovers the delights (and otherwise) of earth foods.

Series: Fifth in the Nosy-Verse, follows The Care And Feeding Of Alien Fluffs 

Disclaimer: I still don’t own Torchwood, or any of the characters, but I do own Nosy.

A/N: This is for everyone who’s commented, with thanks; your enthusiasm for Nosy makes me want to keep writing. Hope you all enjoy this one.

Part One




It took them nearly half an hour to cart all the pieces across the Hub and into the night duty room, but they finally had everything in one place and the packaging removed. Owen picked up the instructions.


“Bunk beds? What do we need bunk beds for?”


“Ianto said something about the top bunk being for our new pet. Apparently it snuck down Jack’s manhole last night and got in bed with them or something, didn’t like being alone. So, whoever gets night duty in future also has to baby sit an overgrown bottle brush.”


“Be nice to have the company,” Andy said cheerfully.


“Good job it’s your turn tonight then,” Mickey grinned.


“It is, isn’t it? I get to be first to sleep in the new bed!”


“Why d’you have to be so bloody cheerful about everything?” Owen grumbled.


“Why d’you have to be so grouchy? If I’m Happy, you must be Grumpy.”


“No way! I’m the doctor around here, so that makes me Doc. Mickey’s Grumpy.”


Laughing and arguing amiably, they set about laying out all the parts, then started to put them together under Mickey’s expert guidance. It turned out he was a whiz at putting together furniture of all kinds.


“Okay, if Andy’s Happy, you’re Doc and I’m Grumpy – which I ain’t admitting to, but I’ll go with it for now – who are the other four?” Mickey asked Owen.


Owen gave it some thought as he worked. “Tosh is Bashful, obviously. Gwen’s sleepy ‘cause she nods off at her desk. That leaves Sneezy and Dopey.”


“Well Dopey is obvious,” said Mickey.


They all looked at each other and chorused, “Jack!” before falling about laughing.


A soft slithering noise from the doorway interrupted them, and they turned to see Nosy peering ‘round the doorframe. It gave an enquiring hum.


“Hello there,” Andy greeted it. He got up off the floor and went over to the door, dusting his trousers off as he went. Nosy slithered part way into the room, then stopped, scrunched up and sneezed. “Bless you. I think we’ve found our Sneezy!” Andy said over his shoulder to the others, bending down to make a fuss of Nosy.


Mickey frowned. “If the feather duster there is Sneezy, what’s left for Ianto?”


Owen shrugged. “We’ve run out of Dwarfs, guess he’ll have to be Snow White!”


“It fits!” Mickey said with a grin. “He’s always cleaning the house and getting the food.”


“Not to mention picking up the laundry,” Andy added.


Owen chuckled. “I can just see the look on his face if we called him that.” He paused, before adding, “Better not though, or we’ll find ourselves on decaf for a month.”


“Not risking that,” Mickey agreed.


“We’re pathetic,” Owen sighed. “Teaboy’s got us over a barrel, we’re so addicted to his coffee we daren’t do anything that might interfere with us getting our regular fix.”


The others both nodded.


“It is very good though.”


“Good?” Owen stared at Andy like he’d grown a second head. “It’s bloody amazing! Makes everything else taste like mud.”


Mickey clapped his hands together. “Come on, guys, let’s get back to work, this bed’s not gonna build itself while we’re standing around extolling the virtues of Ianto’s coffee.”


Andy gave Nosy a final pat and told it, “You can watch, but you need to stay there out of the way, don’t want you getting squashed.”


Nosy obediently slithered backwards into the doorway, where it settled down to watch. Owen was always surprised that it could go backwards as easily as forwards, and made a mental note to study its abilities further when he had time. He’d been reading up on xenobiology for some time now – in his line of work it was essential and there was a fair amount in the archives on the subject – and Nosy was proving a fascinating subject for study. Besides, it would be a good excuse for spending time with the alien. He didn’t want the rest of the team thinking he’d gone completely soft, he had a reputation to uphold.




It didn’t take the three men long to get the bed constructed and set in position against the wall. They worked well together – all of the team did. Jack may not be the world’s greatest leader, but he knew people and had put together a team whose skills complemented each other. That’s not to say there was never any friction between the team members – that would have been unnatural – but most of the time they all got along and any arguments were minor.


While they worked, Nosy mostly kept well out of the way, but it occasionally helped out, fetching tools that rolled out of reach and handing them back, much to everyone’s amusement.


Standing back and dusting themselves off (which set Nosy sneezing again), they admired their handiwork. Mickey stepped forward and gave the frame a good shake. It didn’t budge.


“Solid as a rock. Let’s get the mattresses on, then stop for a beer.”


There were general murmurs of approval from the other two.


Mattresses dragged in from the hallway, unwrapped and hauled into place, Andy sat on the bottom bunk and bounced experimentally.


“How does if feel?” asked Owen.


“Good. Not too hard. Why don’t you try it for yourself?”


Owen sat beside Andy and bounced. “Nice. Not too soft either.”


Mickey joined them, seating himself the other side of Andy, bouncing carefully. “Yeah, feels just right to me.”


There was silence for a moment as they looked at each other, then they all burst out laughing. “This fairytale stuff is getting out of hand. Come on, time for that beer, then we should fetch the bedding, it’s still up in the Tourist Centre. Ianto thought of everything.”


“’Course he did,” said Owen, “If there was an Olympic event for being organised, he’d take gold every time. I swear the man’s brain is full of tiny filing cabinets with his every thought neatly catalogued and filed away so he can find it again at a moment’s notice. He probably has a list of the lists he makes. In triplicate!”


Laughing at Owen’s comments, they made their way back to the kitchen area with Nosy slinking along behind them. Mickey grabbed three beers from the fridge and opened them.


“Tosh,” Andy called, “we’re all having a well-deserved beer, do you want one?”


“Not a beer, but I’ll have a soda if there is one.”


Andy checked the fridge. “Coke or Sprite?”


“Sprite, please,” Tosh replied, walking over to join them.


Andy handed her the bottle. “We’ve been putting together the new bed in the night duty room,” he told her.


“Bunk beds,” Owen added. “Nosy gets the top bunk and whoever’s on duty has the bottom. Ianto’s idea, apparently. You should come take a look when we take the bedding down.”


“As long as you don’t expect me to make the beds,” Tosh replied.


“Shucks, foiled!” grinned Andy.


“Never crossed my mind!” Owen tried to look innocent, but it was Owen, so it didn’t really work.




As soon as they’d finished their drinks, the three men headed up to the Tourist Centre to collect the bedding. Tosh headed for the night duty room, Nosy at her heels, to test out the new bed before the others came back. Just as the three men had, she sat on the bottom bunk and bounced, but then she stretched out on the mattress with a sigh.


“Oh, this is really comfy,” she told Nosy. “But how are you supposed to get into your bed?”


Nosy hummed enquiringly.


Tosh got up and reached one hand up to the top bunk, patting the mattress. “This is your bed,” she explained to Nosy.


Nosy sat up and looked, then slithered to the ladder and squiggled its way up onto the top bunk. It tried to bounce like everyone else had, but because of its shape, it wasn’t very good at it, so it gave up and just coiled up comfortably.


“Comfy?” Tosh asked.


It hummed approval.


Arriving back with all the bedding, Owen, Andy and Mickey dumped their loads on the floor and stared at Nosy.


“How’d it get up there?”


“Tosh shrugged. “The ladder. It just sort of squiggled its way up.”


“Well, it can squiggle its way back down again so we can make up the beds,” Owen said firmly.


Nosy took a bit of persuading, but finally did as it was told and slithered back to the floor.


In the end, they all helped make up the beds. Owen and Tosh took charge of the bottom bunk while Mickey and Andy dealt with the top. They looked very inviting once they were done.


“Beats that old cot by a country mile,” said Andy, “Real luxury.”


“You won’t want to get up if there’s a rift alert tonight,” teased Tosh.


“At least I’ll be well rested if the world decides to end on my watch. Still, can’t stand around wishing it was bedtime already, no matter how tempting it looks. Work to do.” Andy started gathering the plastic packaging, stuffing it into the bags the pillows and duvets came in.




Once all the rubbish was bagged up, Andy and Mickey hauled it down to the incinerator for disposal, taking care to shut the door to the lower levels, so Nosy couldn’t follow. Owen and Tosh headed back to the main Hub with Nosy, luring it away from its new bed with the promise of a game of fetch.


“You can throw your own balls this time,” Tosh told Owen with a cheeky grin.


“Now that’s a feat I’m not sure even Jack could accomplish,” Owen joked in reply. “Speak of the devil,” he added as the door from the garage opened and Jack struggled through, loaded down with shopping bags and followed by a less heavily laden Ianto, leaning on his cane. He’d had more than enough of walking, now all he wanted to do was collapse on the sofa and put his feet up, which is exactly what he did.


“Shopping was a success, I take it?” Owen continued, taking in the array of bags.


“Oh yeah,” Jack beamed, dumping his bags on and around the coffee table. “Just you wait ‘til we show you what we bought!” He was bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excited child.


Ianto rolled his eyes. “I don’t know where you get the energy. I’ve about had it. Give me a few minutes to catch my breath and I’ll make coffee while you fetch the rest of the bags.”


“There’s more?” asked Owen incredulously.


“Yep, a few more bags. It’s not all for Nosy though. Did the beds arrive?”


“Ages ago. They’re all set up and ready for use.”


Ianto’s eyebrows went up. “I’m impressed!”


“You should be, we worked bloody hard!” Mickey grumbled as he and Andy wandered over to join the gathering. Nosy was eying the piles of bags curiously.


Ianto heaved himself up off the sofa and limped towards the kitchen area, taking several of the bags with him.


“I’m going to make us all a coffee and get some ice for my knee,” he announced. “When I get back, we’ll see what Nosy thinks of its new toys. Give me a hand, Tosh?”


“Sure,” Tosh said with a smile.


“Can’t I help?” asked Jack.


“Thought you were fetching the rest of the bags?”


“Oh yeah, I forgot.”


Ianto shook his head. “Grasshopper mind.”


“I heard that,” Jack called after him.


“You were meant to.”


Jack grinned and headed off back to the garage, while the remaining team settled down to wait for the grand unveiling…


The End (for now)








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Lovely but I like Swede. Other than the nuts (I hate) and bananas (I love) I think I may be Nosy - he likes all the same veg as me.
Jack got fed cold mashed swede the entire YTNW, so I figured he wouldn't be happy to see one in the Hub - I love it myself! However, like Tosh, I am violently allergic to bananas, to the point where I've come to loathe the smell, hence Nosy's aversion. I adore nuts.

Sadly, Nosy had to dislike some things, most of which I like! In fact bananas are the only thing on the list that I don't like, lol!

Glad you enjoyed - fun with toys will be in the next one, I just have to write it!
I think I like most everything that Nosy does, with the exception of the nuts, and the sprouts. Oh, and I'm not too keen on watermelon, either. Everything else is mostly good, even the peas (fresh being better than frozen any day of the week).

I'll keep my eye open for this on AO3, so I can download and add it to my folder with the rest of the 'verse. Loved it, btw - might have forgotten to mention that!
I've never tried watermelon, Nosy got a slice of honeydew melon which is quite different. I like it, but it does need a lot of sugar to make it taste of anything, lol! I'm also nuts about nuts of all kinds, and I adore sprouts and always have, because I'm just plain weird! Even when I was little I loved sprouts. Nosy thinks they're fun!

Probably be about a week before it's up on AO3 as I have a lot of posting to comms to do and tomorrow will be a bit busy, the Monday is Fic of the Week day, and I need to go shopping sometime during the week if I can.... Time slips away and it's the weekend again before you know it!

Glad you enjoyed it anyway.
I loved that! Owen and Tosh getting Nosy to taste-test food was just adorable. I do have to agree with most of Nosy's choices. And the boys going on about the Seven Dwarfs! They're right of course; Ianto is so Snow White. LOL!

I'm so looking forward to the toy unveiling. Plus, will Nosy stay in his own bed from now on? It was hilarious when Nosy ended up under the bed...

We'll have to see if Nosy will stay in its own bed or not - I have no idea!

The whole Seven Dwarfs bit (and the Goldilocks & the hree Bears bit later with the bed) came out of nowhere, completely unplanned. I'm not sure how it happened but Ianto just HAD to be Snow White in the end, it just fitted too well to not go there!

I like almost everything, but I'm allergic to bananas, so I had to have Nosy hate them. In fact I even like the things Nosy doesn't like, but it had to dislike some things, so... random choices.

Glad you enjoyed!
It was fantastic, J!!!
I loved Ianto as Snow White, it really fits!!!
Hugs and kissitos!!!
Thank you! It does fit, doesn't it? I hadn't planned that but it worked so well!

Glad you enjoyed it!

*hugs back*
You had me laughing so hard about the Seven Dwarfs and Snow White, you renamed the team perfect, but poor Ianto, Snow White and Jack, Dopey. This is so brilliant.
Lol! Thank you, I hadn't even planned that part, it just happened, one of those happy accidents - I ran out of Dwarfs and still had Ianto, and suddenly it was just obvious! Poor Dopey Jack, but I'm sure Ianto would agree on that!

Thabk yoy, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
What a nice and tasty chapter! ;)
Owen did pretty well with his options, a very good, varied and balanced diet for the fluffy friend!

I laughed so loud with the names of the dwarfs and they suit so well to each of them, and Ianto will make a nice Snow White!!

Love this versed and how wll all the team works and enjoy their time together!

Looking forward to reading more soon, J!!!
Thank you!

Nosy will soon be a very healthy fluff, getting a good, balanced diet - moss is all very well, but it gets a bit boring all the time.

I didn't plan the Seven Dwarfs bit, it just sort of happened, and then I ran out of Dwarfs, but Ianto is so obviously Snow White *grins*

I have to start writing the next one now, don't I? 0.0

Glad you enjoyed it!
That was adorable, with Nosy trying all the different foods. He's going to have so much fun with the team - heaps more fun than grazing with sheep.
Thank you!

Yes, sheep aren't very intellectually stimulating, are they? The Torchwood team are much more interesting to a fluff - they do strange things for no obvious reason. Better still, they pay Nosy a lot of attention and give it nice things!

Glad you enjoyed!
Beautifully done, I've been chuckling this whole evening. I am especially impressed with your dialog and the characters' banter. I've only recently come into the Ianto/Jack world and these are the first pieces of yours that I have read. Thank you.
Thank you, that's a lovely compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying them.

I find Jack and Ianto easiest to write, but I think I'm slowly getting to grips with the other characters' voices. The dialogue often seems to write itself, the characters start these totally unplanned conversations and all I can do is go with it, lol!

There are a lot of brilliant fics out there when it comes to Jack and Ianto, and some truly awesome writers. For my money, some of the best dialogue between the boys comes from lawford who does a truly awesome job. I bow before her!
Oooooh, you tease. I totally want to see Nosy and its toys.
And so you will, that will begin in the next one when I can get around to writing it. I don't know how long it will end up being - the last one was supposed to be around 2.5k, but ended up at just over 4k - so if it looks like being very long, I'll probably write it as chapters.

I just had to do the food tasting and bed testing first, as a sort of build-up to the fun and frivolity of playtime. You just know Jack is going to be playing with everything too!
Yay another nosy fic :-)
I love this verse!
I think this might be your best yet. It was so fun seeing nosy's reactions and it was well written with everyone nicely in character and the flow of the narrative was really smooth. Well done! Can't wait for the next one-want to see what nosy makes of all the toys!
Thank you!

I was a bit bothered about this one, not sure if I was getting too bogged down in detail, I think I often over do it by getting too nit-picky, so it's a huge relief to hear it flows well. I think I'm slowly getting the voices of the other characters, though I still find Jack and Ianto easiest. It was weird writing something they were barely in. Makes me wonder if it's okay to still post this on jackxianto and jantolution It's an essential part of an ongoing story though, it just happens that this particular chapter is Janto-lite. I don't know. Any advice?

The next one will take quite a lot of writing, it may end up as a short series - haven't decided yet, I need to see what happens when I start writing. If I need to do any idea bouncing, can I PM you please?

Glad you enjoyed it!
testing of food! I love it!
the bed looks really comfortable.
they are finally back of shopping ... I look forward to testing toys!
Thank you, I'm pleased you liked it!

Yes, testing the toys will be next, when I get it written. I think it should be fun! Nosy wants to know what's in all the bags.

This had me giggling!

Nosy is a very healthy eater. Good thing they put Jack in charge of toys. If he had been in charge of food he would have come home with poptarts, donuts, meat feast pizza, jelly babies and circus peanuts.

Re: This had me giggling!

Lol! Nosy would have turned up its nose at the meat feast, it's definitely a herbivore, but I'll bet it would have eaten everything else!

It would have been cruel to deprive poor Jack of toy shopping, he had a very happy day in the end and is looking forward to playing with everything. Ianto keeps having to tell him the toys are for Nosy!

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it =D
I'm going to look up swede; I have no idea what that is and wonder every time I see that episode of Dr Who. All told, I'm glad to see Owen so involved and happy and I love this verse. More, please.
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it!

For Americans out there, swede = rutabaga I believe. In Britain a swede is merely a swede, and cold, mashed swede sounds disgusting, even though I like it hot in a stew!

Owen is trying to preserve his image, but he likes Nosy a lot. In my mind, young Owen always wanted a dog but never got one. Now he sees Nosy as a sort of very long, intelligent dog and his childhood dreams have come true - in a Torchwood kind of way. Nosy will, I hope, bring out the best in everyone!
So, I just discovered this 'verse...and there goes my afternoon. :) Love it!
Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

There will be more as soon as I can write it - hopefully not too long!
What I really like about this fic is the team banter. They really seem like a family. I also adore Ianto and his seven dwarves. (Though I wonder if the Doctor is really Dopey while Jack is the prince.)

But... but... tomato and spinach are awesome, especially together. And I do not want to live in a world without watermelon.
Lol! The Doctor can be VERY Dopey, but since 2 out of the 3 characters have never met him, it made more sense for Mickey to make fun of Jack, someone the other two are very familiar with. I'm glad you liked the banter, I wanted to show how comfortable the team are with each other and that there's no resentment from the veterans toward the newcomers. Andy and Mickey have fitted in well, and Owen enjoys having them around. Before, it was mostly just Owen and Ianto with their snark-fest, but then Ianto was getting more and more distracted by Jack. It's good for Owen to interract with other guys and have friends, I think it's making him more settled.

I agree, tomatoes and spinach ARE awesome. I've never tried watermelon, it's not that common here - Nosy had a bit of Honeydew Melon, which I like. But Nosy couldn't like everything, that would have been a bit boring, so I had to randomly pick a few things. It doesn't DISlike spinach, just likes some of the other things better!

Anyway, glad you enjoyed this, thank you!
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