badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Doctor Who Ficlet: To Zombie Or Not To Zombie?

Title: To Zombie Or Not To Zombie?

Fandom: Doctor Who

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Ten, Donna

Rating: G

Spoilers: None.

Summary: The Doctor encounters something he’s never come across before. Donna is surprisingly unimpressed.

Word Count: 468

Written For: juliet316’s prompt ‘Doctor Who, author's choice, Zombies!’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

"I though you said zombies don't exist," Donna somehow found the breath to scream at the Doctor as they ran for their lives, pursued by the slavering horde. She was quite convinced they were intent on eating her brains.

“They don’t,” the Doctor panted out beside her. “They’re not zombies.”

“Could’ve fooled me, sunshine.”

“Just because they look like zombies and act like zombies, it doesn’t mean they are zombies,” the Doctor insisted. “You humans with your primitive ideas, always branding things you don’t understand with the names of monsters from your folklore.”

“If they’re not zombies then what the hell are they?”

“Haven’t got a clue, isn’t that fantastic? Never come across anything like them before. Do you have any idea how often that happens? Never!” The Doctor threw Donna one of his most manic grins and she glared at him. She would have liked to slap him silly for being happy about their current situation, but she was a bit busy trying to keep ahead of the monsters pursuing them. In the distance she could see the familiar, reassuring shape of the TARDIS and she tried to urge a little more speed out of her tiring legs. Travelling with the Doctor was better for her overall fitness levels than the gym had ever been. It should be prescribed on the National Health.

“If you don’t know what they are, then how do you know they’re not zombies?” Donna gasped. The TARDIS was only a couple of hundred metres away now.

The Doctor looked at her as if she was stupid. “Because zombies don’t exist,” he explained as patiently as he could, given how out of breath they both were by now.

Oh yes, she was so going to hit him once they reached safety.

Fetching up against the side of the TARDIS with a resounding thud, the Doctor shoved the door open, herded Donna through in front of him (at least he was being a gentleman), dived through behind her and slammed the door shut, leaning back against it and puffing like a bellows.

“Well, that was invigorating, wasn’t it?” He beamed at her and she slapped him. Hard.

He blinked at her in surprise. “What was that for?”

“Bringing me to a planet inhabited by freakin’ zombies, that’s what, Spaceman! Now how about gettin’ us out of here?”

“I keep telling you; they’re not zombies! Anyway, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I left it in my other coat.”

“You don’t have another coat. I’d have noticed!”

“Oh, like you noticed the zombies?”

“They’re not zombies!”

“I don’t care!”

With a wheezing, groaning noise, the TARDIS dematerialised, leaving a horde of confused looking zombies milling around.

One turned to the zombie next to it, puzzled. “What the hell just happened?”

Distantly, a voice called out, “Cut!”

The End

Tags: doctor who, donna noble, fic, fic: g, fic: one-shot, fic_promptly, ficlet, humour, the doctor

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