badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Ficlet: Little Green Men

Title: Little Green Men

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Ianto, Jack, Tosh

Rating: G

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: Little green men pay a visit to Cardiff

Word Count: 422

Written For: 51stcenturyjack’s prompt ‘Torchwood, any, aliens that actually are little green men,’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

“There are no such things as little green men.” Jack had been quite certain about that, despite the reports coming in from the outskirts of Cardiff.

“There are thirty seven people, including two detectives, a vicar and the headmaster of the local school, who would disagree with you.” Ianto sounded amused.

“They must be hallucinating or something. I mean, little green men who pop in and out of visibility? How likely is that?”

“Well… Personally, I’m inclined to believe them.” Ianto stared at the little green man who had suddenly appeared in front of him with an audible ‘pop’.


“There’s one standing right in front of me. Hi there, can I help you!”

The little man blinked up at him.

“Where get Jelly Babies, pliss? Have payment!” It held out a gold nugget.

Ianto tapped his comms. “Tosh? Can you bring Jelly Babies to my location, please?” He turned back to the little man. “How many would you like?”

“Fill cargo ship?”

“I’ll need to look at your ship.”

“Yes pliss!”

With that, both Ianto and the little green man winked out of existence, reappearing in front of a spaceship about the size of a London bus. The little man opened a hatch.

“Fill here?”

Ianto studied the compartment. “Tosh? Yes, I think eighty kilos in weight should be sufficient.” He listened for a minute. “Yes, best bring them to my new position.”


The SUV pulled up a short distance away a couple of hours later, with Jack at the wheel.

“Huh, little green men, who’d have thought.”

“Everyone comes through Cardiff sooner or later,” Ianto said, helping Tosh unload the sacks of Jelly Babies and pack them in the cargo hold.

“The Doctor told me there was no such thing, and I believed him.” Jack sounded faintly put out.

“He was probably having you on,” Tosh replied with a smile. “He’s most likely the one who introduced these guys to Jelly Babies in the first place.

Cargo stowed and hatch closed, Ianto accepted the gold nugget, weighed it in his hand, then handed over five twenties.

“There’s your change. Please call again.”

“Thank you much!”

The little green alien bowed and joined his fellows as they piled into their spaceship. Soon it was lifting into the air, where it hovered for a moment before winking out of existence.

Ianto pocketed the gold nugget and slid behind the wheel of the SUV. Some days, he reflected, working for Torchwood was a pleasure. Especially the days when he could prove Jack wrong!

The End

Tags: fic, fic: g, fic: one-shot, fic_promptly, ficlet, humour, ianto jones, jack harkness, other character/s, torchwood fic, toshiko sato

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.