badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Ficlet: Out-Snarked

Title: Out-Snarked

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen.

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: Ianto is snarky and sarcastic; it’s one of the many things Jack loves about him.

Word Count: 300

Written For: Prompt #392: Sarcasm at slashthedrabble.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

Jack relishes Ianto’s flair for sarcasm. Until the young Welshman joined the team, Owen was the king of snark, his abrasive jibes cutting his team-mates to the quick, so it’s nice to have someone around who can stand up to the medic without resorting to shouting.

As Torchwood Three’s leader, Jack knows he shouldn’t take such pleasure in the way his lover can stop the Londoner mid-rant with a perfectly timed sarcastic put-down, delivered in a tone drier than the Sahara. Nevertheless, he delights in Ianto’s quick wit and he can’t hide his smile when it’s used to such devastating effect.

“Is that coffee?” Owen snaps as Ianto emerges from the kitchenette, his tray laden with steaming mugs.

Ianto just rolls his eyes and casts a suitably withering look at his colleague.

“No, Owen, I thought I’d serve the boiled guts of that alien you’re supposed to be autopsying for a change.”

“Up yours, Teaboy.”

“Try it and you’ll lose it.” Ianto sets Owen’s mug down on his workstation. “Think you can manage to drink that without spilling it or should I get you a straw?”


“We know you are, there’s no need to brag about it.” Ianto turns away, leaving Owen speechless for once.

Jack can’t help the snort of laughter that escapes, but Ianto’s calm expression doesn’t falter as he delivers hot coffee to the girls before climbing the steps to Jack’s office with the two remaining mugs.

“You are an evil man, Ianto Jones,” Jack smirks, plucking his blue and white striped mug from the tray and taking a slow sip, the rich flavour of Ianto’s coffee bursting on his tongue.

“But you love me for it,” Ianto replies with a twinkle in his eye.

Jack doesn’t say a word, but they both know it’s true.

The End

Tags: fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg-13, ficlet, ianto jones, jack harkness, jack/ianto, owen harper, slashthedrabble, torchwood fic

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