badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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FAKE Fic: Workplace Hazards

Title: Workplace Hazards

Fandom: FAKE

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Dee, Ryo, JJ, Drake, OC

Rating: PG

Setting: After Vol. 7.

Summary: Dee and Ryo don’t really believe in horoscopes, but some days maybe they should.

Word Count: 752

Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Dee/Ryo + JJ, Dee has an accident on some stairs, thanks to JJ,’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.

Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Dee’s not superstitious, he doesn’t believe in horoscopes. Neither does Ryo, but sometimes they read them in the morning paper, just for a laugh.

“According to this, today the workplace could prove hazardous to your health.” Ryo sounded amused.

“We’re cops, our workplace is always hazardous to our health. Goes with the territory!” Dee pulled his car into a space in the 27th Precinct’s parking lot and turned off the engine. “That’s not exactly news. What does yours say?”

“Uh, let me see.” Ryo found his star sign. “You are going to enjoy excellent health today. However, you need to keep an eye out for the health of your family members. You may have to nurse one of them.

“How’s Bikky?”

“Healthy as a horse. Come on, we’d better get clocked in before the Chief gets on our case.”

“Relax, babe. We’re actually early this morning!”

“That’s a small miracle after last night.”

Leaving the car, they headed up the steps into the foyer, clocked in behind the desk and made their way towards the stairwell. Just as they were starting up, one of the desk clerks came running over, waving a piece of paper.

“Detective Maclean? There’s a message for you.”

“Go on ahead, Dee, I’ll be right up.”

Dee nodded, hooking his jacket over one shoulder and starting up the first flight while Ryo accepted the message. It was the results of some forensics tests for one of their cases. Browsing the information, Ryo slowly followed his partner.

He was just starting up the second flight as Dee reached their floor, so he heard what happened next even though he didn’t see all of it.


From the way he shrieked Dee’s name, anyone would think JJ hadn’t seen the object of his unwanted affections for months, even though they worked in the same squad and usually on the same shifts. If he was in the building when Dee got to work, the hyperactive little guy always treated his crush’s arrival like some kind of momentous reunion.

“I’ve missed you soooo much, Mr Studly!”

Then came the sound of running footsteps.

“JJ, don’t… Aaaargh!”

Caught off balance when JJ cannoned into him in enthusiastic greeting, Dee was knocked backwards by the force of the impact. JJ might only be small, but he had momentum on his side. Unfortunately, Dee happened to be standing right at the top of the staircase at the time, and arms flailing wildly, he went tumbling back down the stairs, hitting every step in the process. Ryo lunged forwards, dropping the test results and just managing to prevent Dee from hitting the wall on the halfway landing, where they wound up in a tangled heap.

“Dee, are you okay?” Ryo carefully disentangled himself from his partner, who was groaning feebly.

There was the clatter of feet on the stairs and then the man responsible was leaning over them. “Oh my God! Dee! I’m soooo sorry!”

“Someone keep that idiot away from me!” Dee tried to sit up, but flopped back down again, wincing. “Ow! Damn, that hurts. There’s a good chance I might’ve broken something.”

“Don’t try to move,” Ryo advised. “Someone call an ambulance.”

“Already done,” Drake said, pulling JJ away from his accidental victim. “Paramedics are on their way, should be here in a few minutes.”

“This is not what I’d planned for today,” Dee grumbled.


At the hospital, after tests and x-rays, it was found that Dee had severe bruising to his back and a dislocated shoulder, which thankfully popped back into place with no trouble, unlike Ryo’s a few months earlier. Dee silently thanked God for small mercies. The doctor signed him off work for a week and ordered him to go home and rest. Ryo, who had gone with his partner in the ambulance, hailed a taxi and took Dee back to his own apartment instead of Dee’s, deciding that Dee probably shouldn’t be left on his own.

“Maybe there’s something to horoscopes after all,” he mused as he helped Dee up the stairs. “You got injured at work and now I have to take care of you.”

“Nah,” said Dee. “It was just coincidence. The way I figure it, even the people who write horoscopes have to get it right for someone once in a while.”

Ryo laughed. “I guess so.”

“Besides, it’s not my workplace that caused this, it was JJ. I just hope he doesn’t try to make amends. With my luck, he’d probably end up killing me!”

The End

Tags: dee laytner, drake parker, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic_promptly, jj adams, ryo maclean

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