Title: An Internal Battle
Characters: Ryo, Dee, mentions Bikky.
Setting: Vol. 2, Act 6.
Warnings: None needed.
Summary: Ryo’s mind and body are locked in battle. Eventually one side will have to win.
Word Count: 1100
Written For: My genprompt_bingo square Mind and Body.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
A/N: Dialogue is borrowed from the manga.
Ryo feels for Dee, he really does. They haven’t been working together for all that long, but they’re already much more than just work partners, they’re close friends; Ryo can’t help but empathise.
It doesn’t matter that Mother Lane is a nun and not Dee’s blood relative, it doesn’t even matter that caring for orphaned and abandoned children is her life’s work; none of that changes the way Dee feels about her. She’s his Mother, the only family he’s ever known, and seeing her lying there in the wreckage after the explosion, her black and white habit stained red with her own blood, broke something deep inside him. Ryo had never seen Dee freak out like that before and hopes he never will again.
Mother is in the hospital now, and all they can do is wait for news, praying that she’ll be alright. They’d stayed at the hospital for as long as they could, but eventually had to leave. There was nothing they could do there; Mother was out of surgery but in intensive care, and visitors weren’t allowed. So now Dee’s slumped on the day bed in his apartment, staring out the window at the darkness, silent and withdrawn.
Ryo wishes he knew how to help his friend, but all he can think to do is make coffee. It’s not ideal, Dee probably doesn’t need caffeine racing through his system making him even more agitated than he already is, but there’s no tea in the cupboards. Dee is a caffeine addict who’s never developed a taste for the more soothing brew. Still, a hot drink is a hot drink, and maybe it’ll help. Except that Dee doesn’t seem interested, so Ryo just sets the mug down on the small table nearby. It’s too hot to drink at the moment anyway.
When Dee grabs and kisses him, Ryo is taken by surprise; he wasn’t expecting a pounce, not after everything that’s happened, but maybe this is Dee’s way of seeking comfort. Whatever, before Ryo can react or even think, he’s pinned down against the pillows by Dee’s larger frame and being kissed into the middle of next week. Worse, he’s kissing back.
This is bad. Dee is way too good at kissing; his lips against Ryo’s send tingles shooting through the other man’s whole body. It’s not fair! Ryo doesn’t want this, doesn’t want to be attracted to his friend, doesn’t want to be gay, but when Dee kisses him it’s so hard to remember that he should resist, say no, stick to his guns. After all, Ryo has got to the age of twenty-seven without giving in to those deeply buried desires; he’d been doing so well until he met his new partner. Somehow Dee just seems able to steamroller right over his carefully constructed defences.
Usually help is at hand, Bikky is an able chaperone and only too willing to defend Ryo’s honour, but for once the boy isn’t here. Ryo is alone with a distressed and needy Dee and as much as his mind keeps telling him to push Dee away, put up a fight, at the very least make some kind of attempt to get away, he just… can’t. He’s never felt so helpless.
As Dee’s lips move to his throat, and Dee’s skilled fingers flick open the buttons of his shirt, baring his chest, Ryo’s traitorous body responds to every lick, and nibble, and caress. His mind can say ‘no’ as much as it wants, but it’s being drowned out by his body screaming ‘yes’ and ‘more’ and ‘please don’t stop.’ Instead of pushing at the warm, masculine body that’s holding him down, Ryo’s clinging to Dee to keep from drowning in the sensations he’s sending coursing along his nerves. Everything Dee does feels too good, and when Dee pulls back to stare into his eyes, Ryo’s heart skips a beat, then resorts to frantic pounding. He’s pinned by Dee’s gaze, trapped, unable and unwilling to resist, and time stands still…
…Until Dee does the unexpected, tweaking Ryo’s nose so hard it brings tears to his eyes. What the hell?
“What was that for?” Ryo is bewildered, his brain still caught in the fog of pleasure Dee was skilfully creating until a few seconds ago.
“You better start trying to escape or something,” Dee says gruffly. “Otherwise I’m gonna want to go all the way, dude.”
Dee’s words are like a bucket of cold water over Ryo’s head, and the flames of desire his partner had just been kindling inside him are very effectively doused.
“What do you mean, ‘all the way’?” It’s a question Ryo doesn’t really need to ask, his mind is doing a scarily good job of conjuring up visions of exactly what Dee means, and no way is Ryo anywhere near ready for that, not yet! He stops those thoughts in their tracks, unwilling to consider where that ‘not yet’ was coming from. Scrambling upright, trying and failing to tug his shirt back into place, Ryo nurses his abused nose tenderly.
Dee seems to be taking Ryo’s abrupt change of heart pretty well, and so he should since he was the one who called a halt to proceedings. If he’s disappointed, he only has himself to blame.
“Drat. Guess you really hadn’t thought about going all the way yet, huh?” There’s no heat to his words, just a kind of resigned acceptance of the way things stand. “You’re just like Mother. You both let me get away with way too much.”
Ryo feels a flicker of annoyance. How is this suddenly his fault? It’s not like he encourages Dee, he doesn’t have to; he gets kissed and groped and pounced on a regular basis, whether he wants to or not. ‘And I don’t, that kind of attention is very definitely unwanted,’ he thinks firmly, but he can still feel echoes of those tingling sensations Dee created in him, running up and down his spine, pooling in his groin like liquid heat. ‘Oh yes you do,’ his body says with certainty. ‘Quit lying to yourself; you want it, you want him! You’re such a fake. You are what you are; you can’t change that no matter how hard you try, so accept it and deal. What’s so great about being straight anyway? Women have never made you feel like this.’
The battle between Ryo’s body and mind has been raging his entire adult life, and someday soon one side is going to come out on top. Maybe it already has, but Ryo’s not ready to face the truth.
Not just yet.