Characters: Ianto, Jack
Summary: Jack is driving too fast again. Ianto isn’t impressed.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt #425 - Past Challenges Revisited #51 to #100, using #055: Speed, at slashthedrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.
“Jack,” Ianto ground out between clenched teeth as he tried to avoid biting his tongue again, “you’re aware the speed limit’s thirty along here, right?”
“Of course I am! I can read road signs.”
“More than I can right now,” Ianto muttered as they hit another speed bump. Only his grip on the sides of his seat prevented him from hitting his head. “Okay, so if you know the limit’s thirty, why are you doing seventy-five?”
“We’re in a hurry, this could be a matter of life or death.” Which was true of course, you never knew what might come through the Rift; there was always the chance that whatever it was might be lethal. Then again, so was Jack’s driving.
Ianto’s teeth clacked together painfully as they sailed over another speed bump. “Ow! Yes, and it’ll probably be my death.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic, I know what I’m doing. Damn, those bumps in the road are really making it difficult to get anywhere fast. Don’t people realise what a hazard they are? Good thing the suspension can handle a rough ride. Roads are supposed to be smooth; deliberately putting lumps in them is silly.”
“They’re speed bumps, Jack. They’re meant to slow people down, although they don’t seem to have much effect on you.” Ianto was glad it was the early hours of the morning; the streets were empty except for the occasional cat or fox dicing with death by crossing the road ahead of them. The people in the houses they were passing were probably getting woken up though; the SUV’s roaring engine was shattering the peace and quiet of the suburbs.
“Huh, dumb idea; if they weren’t there I could hit ninety easily, maybe even a hundred along here.”
“If you tried to go that fast you’d hit half the parked cars too… watch out for the wall!”
“I can see it! What’s got into you this morning? You’re not usually such a backseat driver.”
“Well you’re not usually quite this much of a lunatic! For pity’s sake, Jack, slow down! I know you want to get there fast, but if you keep this up, we won’t get there at all because we’ll be wrapped around a signpost! Always assuming we don’t get pulled over by the police first and arrested for speeding and dangerous driving.”
“The police won’t stop us,” Jack said confidently. “We have our lights flashing, that means we’re on official business. The Torchwood SUV is an emergency vehicle just as much as a police car is.”
“The police might disagree with you on that one.”
“If they do, they can take it up with Lizzie.”
“Name-dropping is unbecoming,” Ianto said, disapproval in his tone. “Especially when you’re talking about the Queen.” He gave a sigh of relief as the SUV screeched to a halt. “Right, whatever we find out here, I want one thing perfectly clear.”
Ianto leaned over, snatching the keys from the ignition. “I’m driving on the way back.”