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Ianto Little Smile

August 2019

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Dee & Ryo

FAKE Fic: Torture By Stakeout

Title: Torture By Stakeout
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, FBI Agent Diana Spacey.
Rating: PG
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Stakeouts are boring, stakeouts in winter are worse, but this was unendurable.
Word Count: 703
Written For: lannamichaels’s prompt ‘Any, any, "it could be worse, it could be snowing," she said as it started snowing,’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.





Slouched in the driver’s seat of a nondescript unmarked police car, Dee stared gloomily through the front windscreen at the street beyond. It was late and bitterly cold, so the few people still about hurried past, hands jammed in pockets, breath steaming in the night air. It wasn’t all that much warmer in the car with the engine turned off, so he pulled his collar up around his ears, hunched his shoulders a bit to keep it there, and folded his arms across his chest, gloved hands tucked into his armpits.


“I can't believe I'm stuck on stakeout with you of all people. What did I do to deserve this torture?”


Beside him, FBI Agent Diana Spacey smirked. Dee didn’t need to look at her to know she was doing it; the Sea Hag could smirk audibly. “You’re just lucky I guess,” she drawled. Knowing her, she was probably batting her eyelashes at him.


Dee turned his most withering glare on her, but she just winked at him and smirked some more.


“I should be home with Ryo where it’s warm, catering to his every need, and instead I’m sittin’ here in this mobile refrigerator, ‘assisting the FBI’. I don’t get why you couldn’t use your own people.” Dee sank deeper into his seat, turning away again to glare out the window so hard he was almost surprised it didn’t shatter.


“I could have, but where would the fun be in that? Besides, you know this area better than my people do, and for your information, I didn’t ask for you anyway; I asked for Ryo and only ended up with you because he’s currently indisposed.”


Ryo was off work for a couple of days with a mild concussion from having a suspect fall off a fire escape on top on him. The guy must’ve been at least three times Ryo’s size and hadn’t had any business trying to get up the fire escape in the first place. Who does that when trying to get away from the cops anyway? Probably watched too many movies if he thought that was a good idea.


“Like I’d let you get your claws into my Ryo anyway!” Dee huffed. “Shouldn’t you be watchin’ the street?” Even without looking, he could feel her eyes on him.


“Shouldn’t you?” she shot back in a voice almost as cold as the interior of the car. Dee half expected to see ice crystals forming on the glass.


“I am. Believe it or not, I’m perfectly capable of doin’ two things at once. Which is a good thing seein’ as all you’re doing is bein’ a pain in the ass.” He checked his watch. “Damn, feels like we’ve been here half the night already, and it’s only been half an hour! This has to be the worst night of my entire life.”


“Oh, lighten up, why don’t you?” Diana actually had the nerve to sound amused. “It could be worse. It could be snowing,” she said, just as it started to snow, big, fat flakes drifting down from the sky like fluffy feathers to settle on the sidewalk and the cars, parked on both sides of the street.


“You just had to say that, didn’t you?” Dee griped. “Now how’re we supposed to see anything?”


Diana rolled her eyes. “It might surprise you to know that I don’t actually control the weather, that was just a coincidence. Besides, snow was forecast for tonight.”


“Stupid time for a stakeout then.” Dee leaned forward, trying to peer at the other side of the street through the falling snow. “This is useless, I can’t even see the building now. I’ll have to get closer.” Pulling a woollen hat on over his hair and wrapping a scarf around his neck, Dee slipped out of the car, scurrying across the street and taking shelter in a doorway, almost grateful that the falling snow had given him a good excuse to escape the confines of the car. Even freezing his ass off in subzero temperatures was better than enduring another two and a half hours cooped up in a car with the most annoying woman on the planet! He didn’t get paid enough to endure this crap.



The End














Comments

And I'm sure Diana doesn't get paid enough to put up with his pissy attitude, lol! Good for her for doing such a good job of tolerating him--but she always does seem to love getting on his nerves! ^.^
They'd probably be fine if she didn't keep pushing Dee's buttons. Sometimes I think she lives just to torment him, lol! She finds him more entertaining that way.

Thank you!

(Did you see I posted a Torchwood/FAKE crossover? I'm still toying with ideas for getting Dee and Ryo to meet Jack and Ianto though).
Ha ha! I've always liked Diana; I wish she would have been featured more in the manga.
I'm stuffing her into a few fics so she can torment Dee some more ;)

Thank you!
Poor Dee. It would be even worse if Ryo had gone and he was home pacing and steaming about them being on stakeout without him there.
Heeee! Yes, Dee couldn't win either way! The only way he would have been happy would be if he and Ryo were home and someone else was on stakeout with Diana.

Thank you!