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Ianto Little Smile

August 2019



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The Oncoming Coat

Double Drabble: Don’t Try Again - Coda to ‘A Matter Of Scale’

Title: Don’t Try Again - Coda to ‘A Matter Of Scale’
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Alien Ruler, Ruler’s Aide.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 431: Size at tw100.
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack makes sure there won’t be a repeat invasion.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.

After the unfortunate incident with the undersized invasion force getting trampled by a civilian, Jack succeeded in contacting the ruler of the planet the invaders came from using his VM. The following is a transcript of their conversation:

Jack: “Thought you should know your invasion force has been defeated. They were seriously overmatched. You’d be wise not to send another one.”

Alien Ruler: “Ah, I always said one day Commander Splerlifoo would try to invade the wrong planet. He never did have any sense. I hope you won't be billing us for damages incurred during the attempt.”

Jack: “Not this time, damage was minimal, just a pair of shoes, but we are keeping his spaceship. It makes quite a nice desk ornament for my tech expert.”

Alien Ruler: “Desk ornament?" Gulp. "Just how big ARE you people?”

Jack: “Oh, only about three million times bigger than yours.”

Alien Ruler: “Okay, so sorry, got to go, bye bye!” Turns to aide. “We are never going anywhere near that planet again!”

Aide: “Very well, milord, I’ll erase it from our charts, shall I?”

Alien Ruler: “Screw that, just destroy all the charts. I’m banning space travel. Permanently. It’s not worth the risk.”

The End


Lol oh this was brilliant!
*grins* It came out of a reply I wrote to an earlier comment, it was just to good an idea not to flesh it out a bit more =)

Thank you!

I can imagine the aliens doing a picturesque chart of humans that reads: Not to scale?
LOL! I think some would do just that!

Thank you!

I bet they had a meeting about it.
A coalition of miniature aliens, agreeing to avoid the giant aliens.