Author:
Characters: Jack, Alien Ruler, Ruler’s Aide.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 431: Size at tw100.
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack makes sure there won’t be a repeat invasion.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
After the unfortunate incident with the undersized invasion force getting trampled by a civilian, Jack succeeded in contacting the ruler of the planet the invaders came from using his VM. The following is a transcript of their conversation:
Jack: “Thought you should know your invasion force has been defeated. They were seriously overmatched. You’d be wise not to send another one.”
Alien Ruler: “Ah, I always said one day Commander Splerlifoo would try to invade the wrong planet. He never did have any sense. I hope you won't be billing us for damages incurred during the attempt.”
Jack: “Not this time, damage was minimal, just a pair of shoes, but we are keeping his spaceship. It makes quite a nice desk ornament for my tech expert.”
Alien Ruler: “Desk ornament?" Gulp. "Just how big ARE you people?”
Jack: “Oh, only about three million times bigger than yours.”
Alien Ruler: “Okay, so sorry, got to go, bye bye!” Turns to aide. “We are never going anywhere near that planet again!”
Aide: “Very well, milord, I’ll erase it from our charts, shall I?”
Alien Ruler: “Screw that, just destroy all the charts. I’m banning space travel. Permanently. It’s not worth the risk.”
The End