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Ianto Little Smile

August 2019

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Dee & Ryo

FAKE Fic: The Hiccup Dilemma

Title: The Hiccup Dilemma
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Dee.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Ryo’s got hiccups. What can Dee do to help him get rid of them?
Word Count: 1298
Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Dee/Ryo, Hiccups,’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.




Usually when Ryo arrived at worked he greeted his colleagues cheerily, but not this time. Today, he stalked stiffly into the squad room, hung up his coat and made his way over to his desk in complete silence. Slumping into his chair, he let his breath out in a long, weary sigh.


Dee watched curiously as his strangely silent partner pulled a file folder towards himself and flipped it open, beginning to leaf through the contents. Seconds later, Hic! Ryo’s whole body jerked, sending the file’s contents skittering across the desk surface and onto the floor.


“Dammit!” Ryo leant out of his chair, reaching under his desk, hurriedly scooping everything together again, and just as he started to straighten up… Hic! This time the jolt slammed the back of his head into the underside of the cheap wooden desk, hitting it so hard that it rocked. “OW! Fuck!” The papers fell from his hands again and Ryo sat up rubbing his head, tears in his eyes and a pained expression on his face.


Dee winced in sympathy; that had to have hurt like hell. “You okay bud?”


“No! Hic! Bloody hiccups!” Hic! Ryo slumped over his desk, burying his head in his arms, body jerking every few seconds. “I’ve tried everything!” Hic! “Even holding my breath didn’t work.” Hic! “How the hell am I supposed to work like this?” Hic!


Under normal circumstances, Ryo wasn’t one to swear, but the frustration and annoyance of having seemingly incurable hiccups was driving him to distraction and making him behave disturbingly out of character.


“How long has it been going on?” Dee asked sympathetically.


“Practically since I got up Hic! this morning. Had to get up early to get Bik Hic! Bikky off to basketball camp. Trying to do a dozen things at once Hic! I tripped over Hic! Bikky’s backpack while I was eating breakfast, had Hic! hiccups ever since. Going on three hours now. Hic! Had to get the bus to work, didn’t Hic! think driving would be a good idea. Probably would’ve Hic! crashed.”


Dee thought that sounded likely; driving with severe hiccups wasn’t something he’d want to attempt either. “Hang in there, bud, and don’t worry, I’ll figure something out, leave it to me.” Dee patted Ryo consolingly on the back, getting a loud hiccup in response and trying not to laugh. It wasn’t funny, not really. Ryo most likely had a headache now as well from bashing his head; just what he didn’t need to go with his hiccups. “How’s your head?”


“Hurts.” Hic!


“Well, at least I can fix that, even if I don’t know how to cure your hiccups yet. Got some painkillers in my desk, just let me get ya some water.”


“Okay. Thanks Hic! Dee.” Ryo sounded tired and thoroughly miserable.


“No problem, that’s what friends are for.”


Dee headed for the cooler and as he filled a paper cup with the chilled water, a plan slowly started to take shape in his mind. The water in the cooler was cold, but Dee knew where he could get something even colder. The squad room’s small refrigerator had an ice compartment… Hurriedly he filled a second cup with water; now he just needed one final ingredient and with a bit of luck, Ryo’s hiccups would be history.


Making his way back to his partner a couple of minutes later, he noted that Ryo was still slumped across his desk, head on his folded arms, emitting muffled hiccups at regular intervals. Perfect. Dee moved as stealthily as he could, sneaking up behind the stricken man, and dumped a cupful of iced water right down the back of Ryo’s neck. The result was pretty spectacular.


“AAAARGH!” Ryo leapt from his seat, gasping and squirming, knocking the chair over in the process and flailing his arms wildly as he tried to reach the slivers of ice that were sliding down his back inside his shirt. “Dee! You sonofabitch! What the hell did you do that for?” Ryo finally had the presence of mind to tug his shirt free, dripping half-melted ice onto the floor. As if his day hadn’t already been bad enough, now he was wet and cold into the bargain. He spun around to glare furiously at his partner. He should’ve known better than to expect Dee to behave considerately; the man was a complete menace! He probably thought his cruel prank was funny.


Oddly enough, Dee wasn’t laughing and he didn’t even reply to Ryo’s angry tirade, he just watched thoughtfully, eyes narrowed and head tilted to one side, as Ryo continued to fume at him, spitting out curses and threats of reprisal.


“I’m going to get you for this, you just wait and see!” Ryo stuck a hand up his shirt again, pulling out yet another sliver of ice and dropping it.


“Really? I’ll look forward to it,” Dee smirked. “So tell me, how’re the hiccups?”


Ryo stopped fishing for ice chips and froze in place, frowning slightly and blinking as realisation hit. Then a slow smile spread across his face. “They’re gone!”


“See? Told ya I’d fix it. Sorry about the soaking but hey, it worked, so I guess it was worth it!”


Ryo suddenly felt bad for what he’d been thinking, not to mention what he’d been yelling. Dee had only been trying to help him. “Thanks, Dee. Sorry I got so mad at you.”


Dee shrugged Ryo’s apology off. “It’s fine. I know it was a pretty mean trick to pull, but it was the only thing I could think of that might stop the hiccups. A sudden shock almost always works. Here.” He held out the other paper cup towards Ryo. “Regular water this time, no ice, promise.” Ryo accepted the cup as Dee turned away to dig in his desk drawer, finally producing an open pack of painkillers from its depths and tossing it to his partner. “Take a couple of those for your head, then you’d better go get dried off. There’s a clean shirt in my locker you can borrow if you don’t have one. Yours should dry fast enough if you drape it over the radiator.”


“It’ll be too creased to look presentable though,” Ryo sighed, gulping down painkillers and wincing. “Maybe you should’ve saved some of that ice for my head.”


“Aw hell, there’s plenty more where those few chips came from. I’ll get ya some if ya want!”


“Uh, on second thoughts, maybe I’ll just wait for the painkillers to work, but thanks for the offer.” Ryo smiled wryly. “No matter how much ice might help, I want to get dry, not make myself wetter.”


“Fair enough, but if you change your mind about the ice, let me know. Sure I could find something to wrap it in to keep ya from gettin’ wet again.”


“I’ll keep that in mind.” Peeling his wet shirt off as he went, Ryo headed for the locker room. He still had chills running up and down his back, he felt unpleasantly damp and his head was throbbing, but none of that mattered any more because the hiccups were gone.


Dee really was one in a million, willing to do whatever it took to help him, no matter what the problem was. Ryo decided he’d have to think of some way to reward his partner. Inviting him over for dinner seemed like a good place to start; hopefully by tonight his headache would be gone. And after dinner? Well, he was pretty sure Dee would be able to think of something they could do for the rest of the evening. As he towelled himself off and slipped into a clean, dry shirt, Ryo smiled. After such a bad start to the day, things could only get better.



The End














Comments

Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind.

:D
So true! At least it worked so Ryo forgives him and is even planning how to reward his lover!

Thank you!
Haha, that was hilarious! Poor Ryo xD
I was actually expecting a kiss, though... (Kissing helps surprisingly well against hiccups! I know what I talk about :D)
A kiss at work probably would've shocked Ryo as much as the ice water, lol!

Dee was a bit evil, but Ryo is happy enough to forgive him since he's now free of hiccups.

Thank you!
Hitting your head like that hurts so much. I'm glad Dee's plan worked.
It does, I've done it so many times I'm sure there's a dent in my brain! (That's where the fanfic ideas pool).

Dee's glad too, both for Ryo' sake and because now Ryo will want to reward him. He wins =)

Thank you!