badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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Fic: Naked Again

Title: Naked Again
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 781
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto and Jack wake up in a strange place, naked. Again.
Written For: Challenge # 177: Amnesty at fan_flashworks, using Challenge 176: Naked.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.

Ianto woke up to find himself lying on a cool, hard surface, probably a floor. His brain was fuzzy and none of his muscles seemed to be working. Lying completely still, because at this point he really didn’t have any choice, he considered his situation. In the dim, directionless light, from the corner of his eye he could just make out the vague but familiar shape of Jack lying beside him.

“So, it would appear we’re naked,” he said, as soon as his brain felt able to handle forming words.

“You noticed that too!” Jack sounded quite pleased by the idea, but then that was Jack all over. Naked suited him, but Ianto wasn’t about to give him any encouragement. Not that he needed any.

“It would be difficult not to notice, but I’m almost certain I was wearing something earlier.”

“You were, I remember; it was the dark blue pinstripe, royal blue shirt, and two-tone blue tie.”

“Oh good. Nice to know it didn’t just slip my mind to get dressed this morning.” If he sounded a little testy, Ianto thought he was entitled. “In that case, where are our clothes?”

“Good question, but I can’t tell you because I don’t know.”

“That figures. Alright, let’s try another question. Where are we and how did we get here?”

“That’s two questions,” Jack said helpfully.

“So sue me. Answers?”

“Don’t know and don’t know.”

”Well you’re a lot of help.” The sarcasm in Ianto’s tone came through clearly.


“Not your fault I suppose,” Ianto sighed. “You were probably knocked out the same as me. This is getting to be a habit.”

“Being naked?”

“No. Well, yes, but I meant being kidnapped. Aliens?”

“Probably. Occupational hazard.” That was certainly true; working for Torchwood meant that being abducted by aliens was expected. It had happened to all of them more than once.

“Can you move?”

“Not much. Why?”

“We’re lying naked in an unknown place having been abducted by aliens for some as yet undetermined reason. Maybe it’s just me, but wouldn’t it be a good idea to escape before the aliens come back?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You guess so?”

“Aren’t you the least bit curious about who abducted us and why?”

“Not really. If it was for anything good, they wouldn’t have knocked us out, taken our clothes, and left us unable to move.”

“Oh. That’s true.”

“Are we tied down?”

“I can’t feel any kind of restraints, but they could be using a force-field.”

“Hmm. Some kind of drug seems more likely. Or at least I hope it’s a drug because that means it should eventually wear off if we just keep trying to move. Try wiggling your fingers and toes.”

Ianto’s acute sense of time told him it had been approximately seven minutes since he’d woken up, and almost another twelve minutes passed before he was able to roll onto his front and slowly, with a great deal of effort, get to his hands and knees. It was a start.

“That’s a very enticing view,” Jack smirked, from where he now lay on his side.

Ianto rolled his eyes. “This is neither the time nor the place, Jack.” He shuffled around until he was facing his lover, removing temptation and resolutely ignoring Jack’s pout. “Get up and help me find a way out.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.” Ianto glared at Jack until he complied.

They’d been lying on a smooth surface made of something similar to ceramic tiles, but it was all one piece. On hands and knees, not yet ready to try standing upright, they explored their environment. Behind a partition were bathing and sanitary facilities, and one end of the room they were in was a raised, firm but padded platform about five metres wide by eight long, and covered in soft bluish fabric similar to velvet but finer. It was warm to the touch, and quite springy.

“Sleeping platform?” Ianto asked hopefully.

“Doubtful.” Jack pointed towards a long shelf running the length of the wall behind the platform. It was covered in a varied assortment of devices, bottles, and other containers. “I recognise some of those from my last visit to one on the pleasure planets in the Vegas Galaxy.”

Ianto dropped his forehead onto the soft, spongy mattress. “Please don’t tell me we’ve been abducted to put on a sex show for the aliens.”

“Okay, I won’t tell you.” There was silence for several long minutes, and then Jack added, “Look on the bright side. At least you weren’t abducted with Owen.”

Ianto’s only reply was to press his head deeper into the mattress and groan. Surely the day couldn’t get any worse.

The End

Tags: fan_flashworks, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg-15, ianto jones, jack harkness, jack/ianto, torchwood fic

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