badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

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FAKE Ficlet: Upstanding Irishman

Title: Upstanding Irishman
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ted O’Neill
Rating: PG
Setting: Anytime before or during the manga.
Summary: As an Irish cop, Ted sees both sides of St Patrick’s Day.
Word Count: 344
Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Ted O'Neill, as a cop and an Irishman, he both loathes and loves St Patrick's Day,’ at [community profile] fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Ted O’Neill is proud of his Irish heritage, and as a good, upstanding Irishman he understands and sympathises with his fellow countrymen and their desire to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day to the fullest extent possible. Usually that consists of wearing shamrocks, or something green, watching the parade, singing loudly, telling awful jokes, and drinking so much that they can’t even stand, never mind walk, but by that point they’re usually much too drunk, not to mention too happy, to care. Few people are happier than drunken Irishmen.

As a New York cop though, the St Paddy’s Day celebrations are a nightmare; everywhere you look there are drunken Irishmen picking fights, staggering from bar to bar, causing traffic jams, and disturbing the peace. As if that wasn’t enough to contend with, the parade gives pickpockets an ideal opportunity to ply their trade. As a result, the police are usually run off their feet. Only the Fourth of July is worse.

Usually, Ted joins his fellow detectives in shouldering the impossible burden of upholding law and order; it’s a thankless task, but somebody has to do it. Besides, his oath as a cop makes it his duty. He can’t help but feel that he’s missing out though, so with that in mind, this year he booked March 17th off well in advance. He owes it to himself.

For once he’s going to join the revellers instead of trying to keep them in line. Like them, he intends to drink until he can no longer be an upstanding Irishman, but instead becomes a horizontal one; it’s been a long time since he last got falling down drunk. He’ll probably regret it in the morning, but he can worry about that then; it’s about time he had some fun. For just this one day, he’s going to forget all about being a cop and celebrate in a style befitting a good Irishman.

Tucking in his green shirt and picking up his jacket, shamrock already pinned to the lapel, he heads out to join the festivities. Bring it on!

The End

Tags: fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg, fic_promptly, ficlet, ted o'neill

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