badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

FAKE Fic: Sneaky Thief

Title: Sneaky Thief
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Dee, Bikky.
Rating: G
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Someone is stealing Ryo’s food, and while he doesn’t like suspecting Bikky or Dee, who else could it be?
Word Count: 863
Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Any, Petty theft,’ at fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Ryo hated to suspect either Bikky or Dee of the thefts, but the fact was, things were going missing around the apartment, and one or other of them had to be the culprit because aside from Ryo, they were the only people ever there. Even Carol hadn’t been over since the thefts began a week ago, because she was away with her aunt, visiting colleges.

He wasn’t sure whether he should say anything to his lover and his foster son, or if he should try to catch the guilty party in the act, and he was still trying to make up his mind when the next theft occurred.

It was after work on another hot, sunny day. Dee had come over and was lounging on the sofa with a beer and the paper, while Bikky was sitting at the coffee table with a soda, doing his homework. The windows were open, letting a breeze blow through. It was too hot to cook right now, so Ryo served up slices of cold apple pie and ice cream for a snack, saying he’d cook something later, when it got a bit cooler.

He put Bikky’s dish on the coffee table, gave Dee his, and went back to the kitchen for his own, taking it over to the window, where he perched on the sill, enjoying the breeze. When the house phone rang, he set his dish down and crossed the room to answer it, talking to his aunt for a few minutes before hanging up, but when he got back to the window, his pie was gone. All that was left in the dish was melting ice cream and a few crumbs.

“What the hell?” He spun around to see Bikky looking at him, spoonful of pie halfway to his mouth. Dee was still sprawled on the sofa, his own almost empty dish balanced on his chest, frowning.

“What’s up, babe?”

“My pie’s gone!” Ryo held up the dish. “All that’s left is the ice cream!” He looked suspiciously from Dee to Bikky and back again.

“Hey, don’t look at us, we haven’t moved, and besides, neither of us would’ve left the ice cream,” Dee said. “Sure you didn’t eat it already and just forget?”

“I only had one bite before the phone rang!” Ryo was indignant; eating pie wasn’t something he was likely to forget about in the space of a few minutes. “This wasn’t the first mysterious food disappearance lately either. There was a donut yesterday, my giant oatmeal cookie I bought on the way home from work on Wednesday, and half a chicken salad roll I’d left on the end table on Saturday after I dripped mayonnaise on my pants and had to clean it up before it stained.”

“Huh!” Dee picked up his dish and swung his legs off the edge of the sofa, sitting up. “So what you’re sayin’ is there’s been a spate of food-related petty thefts?” At Ryo’s nod, Dee grinned. “Well, we’re both detectives, so I guess we should start detectin’ and see if we can solve this crime spree. You say the chicken salad roll was on the end table. That one?” He pointed at the one at the far end of the sofa.


“The pie was on the windowsill, so where were the cookie and the donut?”

“End table for the donut, windowsill for the cookie. I gave Bikky his on a plate, but mine was still in the bag. I left it while I went to make myself a drink, and when I got back it was gone.” Ryo carefully didn’t say anything about his suspicions.

“All the end of the room closest to the window then.” Dee nodded, as if that confirmed something. “Okay, we need to bait the trap. You got anything we could use? Stale cookies or somethin’?”

“Um, yes, I think so.”

“Go get ‘em.”

Shrugging, Ryo did as instructed, fetching a plate with a couple of cookies that were a few days past their best. “Now what?”

“Put ‘em on the windowsill, and then we wait.”

Walking over, Ryo placed the plate by the open window and returned to the sofa, sinking down beside Dee.

For twenty minutes they sat and watched, but nothing happened. Just as Ryo was about to get up though, Dee grabbed his arm and stopped him. He’d caught sight of a slight movement, and moments later, something slipped through the window, snatched a cookie, and was gone again almost before they could blink. Dee threw back his head and laughed.

“Well, there’s your sneak thief! I suggest you don’t leave unattended food anywhere near an open window in future.”

Ryo was laughing too, shaking his head. What a fool he’d been to suspect Dee or Bikky. “I didn’t even know there were squirrels around here,” he chuckled.

“You do now!” Dee grinned. “Case successfully closed, so why don’t you get yourself another piece of pie and come sit with me?”

“You know, I believe I will. And this time the squirrel’s not getting any!” Ryo was still laughing as he went back to the kitchen to replace his stolen snack. Sneaky little squirrel!

The End

Tags: bikky, dee laytner, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: g, fic: one-shot, fic_promptly, other character/s, ryo maclean

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