badly_knitted (badly_knitted) wrote,

FAKE Fic: Embarrassing Moments

Title: Embarrassing Moments
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ryo, Dee, mentions Mother.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Just after Like Like Love.
Summary: Ryo hates that he blushes at everything.
Word Count: 816
Written For: My own prompt ‘FAKE, Dee/Ryo, Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to,’ at fic_promptly.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

You’ll never catch a dog blushing as it humps a visitor’s leg. Sheep don’t blush about their nakedness after being shorn. Rabbits go at it like… rabbits, without a hint of pink anywhere. Hell, even primates, man’s closest relatives, seem to be immune to embarrassment. Why do humans have to be different? To Ryo, that just doesn’t seem fair.

He hates that he blushes so easily, and it’s not just over sex or nudity, although those are his top two triggers; even the mildest kind of innuendo will bring warmth to his cheeks, and rude jokes, no matter how funny they are, make him want to hide so as not to get mocked for his uncontrollable reaction. Women who blush don’t get teased nearly as much as men; that’s an undeniable fact.

Some days it seems like the world is just looking for more ways to embarrass him, like the time he accidentally locked himself in the trunk of his car, or the time he got stuck under his bed. Or that humiliating occasion when he went to get stationary from the supply closet soon after the 27th moved to their new base of operations, and opened the door to the women’s locker room instead, because it was right where the supply closet used to at the old precinct house.

Or like last week, when he was starting his preparations for moving in with Dee and was clearing out the coat closet when a gust of wind slammed the door shut, and when he tried to get out, the handle came off in his hand. His face had been scarlet when Dee had come to the rescue, teasing him about finally coming out of the closet.

Today has been one of the worst for bringing on the blushes. First he’d walked into a door because he hadn’t been watching where he was going. Then he’d accidentally shut the end of his scarf in the car door and nearly strangled himself. As if that hadn’t been bad enough, he’d then slipped on a patch of ice and wound up nearly pulling Dee’s pants down in the middle of the street when he’d grabbed for the closest thing in a futile attempt to stay upright. Dee had found that hilarious, helping him up and saying if Ryo wanted him that badly all he had to do was say so, but shouldn’t they go somewhere a bit warmer first? Ryo had felt quite warm enough, thank you very much, the heat in his face making him feel like he was standing in front of an open furnace.

Arriving home, he slumped on the sofa, head in hands. He was just so tired of embarrassing himself, tired of the all too familiar sensation of his face heating up, tired of being so pathetically self-conscious, and of being seen as a prude by everyone he met. He wished he could be more like his partner. Nothing ever seemed to embarrass Dee, and he never seemed to get himself into silly predicaments either. Unlike Ryo, Dee had control over his body.

“Hey, what’s wrong, babe?”

Sighing heavily, Ryo looked up at his lover. “I hate blushing at every little thing. Nothing ever gets to you; you just shrug off things that would make me turn scarlet!”

Dee shook his head, dropping to the sofa beside him. “Not true, babe; trust me, you don’t know what embarrassment is until you get marched into a pharmacy by a Catholic nun to buy condoms right after she’s given you a lecture on safe sex.”

“She didn’t!” Ryo looked up, eyes wide, and Dee’s face heated up, a dark flush staining his cheeks just from remembering that day.

“Oh but she did. I swear every single person in the store was starin’ at us as she told me in no uncertain terms that there were more than enough unwanted children in the world without me riskin’ adding to the number. She said no boy of hers was going to get some poor girl pregnant because he couldn’t be bothered to take sensible precautions. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life, but I was never without condoms after that either.”

“So, no little Dees out there?” Ryo teased.

“Nope. And no nasty diseases either, which is why we don’t need to use protection.”

“I guess we have a lot to thank Mother for then,” Ryo smiled.

“Oh no! You’re not sayin’ a word to Mother about this conversation, not ever!” Dee sounded horrified at the very thought.

“I won’t, I promise,” Ryo assured his partner.

“Good.” Dee leant in for a kiss. “Now, how about we go take a hot shower to warm up after bein’ out in the cold so much today?”

“Mmm, good idea.”

“While we’re at it,” Dee added with a wink, “maybe I’ll see how many times I can make you blush.”

The End

Tags: dee laytner, fake, fake fic, fic, fic: one-shot, fic: pg-13, fic_promptly, mother maria lane, ryo maclean

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