So, long story short, I went digging in my wardrobe to find out what trousers I can wear tomorrow... and horror of horrors, HARDLY ANYTHING FITS!!!!
My gorgeous stripy jeans that I adore won't do up, neither will my pretty pale pink pair, which are labelled size 14, but they can't be because I'm a size 12 and they don't fit and if they're size 14 then they damn well SHOULD fit! I AM still a size 12, damnit! Except around the middle apparently.
I've had to throw out three other pairs as well... (okay, one pair fitted but they're vile and I don't even remember where they came from, probably mum's cast-offs).
I did find two pairs of jeans that fastened but were a bit tight, one pair that are comfortable but have ridiculously shallow pockets (I need good pockets), and one pair that have deep pockets and fit quite well (and have elastic in the waist). But they DO fit, so I guess I know what I'm wearing tomorrow.
But I have Middle Age Spread! When did that happen? Come to think of it, when did I reach middle age?
*crawls off to mope*